[New story] All Will Be In Order, ch 1

[shimotsuki]

All Will Be in Order
When Remus Lupin moves in at number twelve, Grimmauld Place, he must come to terms with Sirius Black and a friendship too long submerged by mistrust, loss, and Azkaban. He must learn to work with Molly Weasley, who seems to be nearly as frightened of werewolves as she is of Voldemort. Clearly, adjustments will have to be made. ( Remus, Sirius, Molly | GoF>OotP | gen )

---

Chapter 1: The Perfect Flat
Word count: 3700 words
Rating: PG (mild language)
Notes: This chapter is a revised and much expanded version of a one-shot posted at MuggleNet under the title "Cleaning House." Many thanks to jncar for comments and suggestions, and for keeping me on track. (Second revision, September 2011.)

[Edit, November 2008] hrymfaxe has kindly provided an illustration of Remus and his teabag for this chapter!

Remus locked his flat, climbed a narrow dark staircase, and opened the building's front door to a sunny June morning. His eyes were dazzled by the sudden brightness, so he heard the gruff bark before he saw the huge, shaggy black dog bounding toward him from behind a row of dustbins.

All Will Be In Order

1. The Perfect Flat

"Sirius, I need you to set off at once. You are to alert Remus Lupin, Arabella Figg, Mundungus Fletcher—the old crowd. Lie low at Lupin’s for a while; I will contact you there."
—Goblet of Fire, chapter 36

Morning light crept apologetically into the basement flat, through two small windows set high in one of the thick stone walls. Remus blinked as a sunbeam spilled across the Help Wanted pages of the Daily Prophet. He ate the last bite of his toast, sipped some tea, and sat for a moment, looking over the job notices he'd circled. Only two today. He wondered, not for the first time, whether such meagre prospects were worth the five Knuts the Prophet cost him. But then he smiled a little and shrugged, pushing his plate aside to make room for a clean piece of parchment. Since it was his newspaper, and not the library's, at least he'd have the crossword to look forward to that evening.

Still, as he reached for his quill to begin yet another letter of application—this one for a part-time bookkeeping and filing job at a shop in Diagon Alley—it was hard to silence the voice in the back of his mind that mocked, Why bother? One way or another, lycanthropy had cost him every job he'd ever managed to scrape up. When he was lucky, his employers merely became annoyed by his frequent absences and sacked him. When he was unlucky, they worked out why his illnesses were so very regular; some of them had even looked him up on the Registry before confronting him and sending him packing.

Remus picked up the teabag that balanced damply on the edge of his plate and dropped it back into his teacup. As he poured more hot water from the kettle, he watched it swirl around the teabag and turn an anaemic brown. The second cup was never quite as good.

--illustration by hrymfaxe

And if finding steady work had been difficult before his year as a teacher, it had got much worse since last spring's media frenzy. (Hogwarts Teacher Exposed as Werewolf! Dark Creature Teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts! Are Our Children Safe at School?) Now his name was known to most of the magical world. He rarely even got a chance at an interview, let alone a job. If not for the occasional research assignments commissioned by the Wizengamot—presumably sent his way by Dumbledore—he'd have had no income at all for a whole year.

He folded the letter, sealed it, and began on the other one. He would bother. He had to. Because the alternative was to give up.

Remus hadn't given up fourteen years ago, when the world as he knew it ended. So he certainly wouldn't give up now.

In one way, things were better this year than they had been for a long time. He kept in touch with people now—people from what he thought of as before. He tried not to count on that, not to assume that the owls would always come, but for now he could enjoy the letters when they arrived. There was a kind and newsy message every few weeks from Dumbledore or McGonagall. And Sirius wrote to him, too. Remus chuckled, thinking of some of the silly, rather ribald comments sprinkled throughout his old friend's missives.

Sirius wrote to him.

Thank Merlin.

. * . * .
Remus had been the first to write. He spent the night after his departure from Hogwarts in a shabby little inn somewhere in northern England. As exhausted as he was from the transformation, grief and shame kept him awake most of the night. Finally, an hour before dawn, he dragged himself out of bed and found a quill and a piece of parchment in his battered briefcase.

Dear Sirius,

Dumbledore told me what Harry and Hermione did last night, and that there is a chance you may have made it away safely.

I don't know if an owl will be able to find you. Even if it does, I am probably the last person on earth you'd want to hear from, as it's all my fault you're on the run again. If I hadn't been distracted by the Map and run down to the Shack before taking my last dose of Wolfsbane, you would have got Peter all the way up to the castle, and you would now be a free man getting to know your godson. I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am, and I know there's no way I can make things up to you.

But please, if you get this letter—just write back and let me know if you're all right.

—R.J.L.

No answer came for days, even though Remus didn't think Sirius had been caught, since there was nothing in the news. He fought down worry and swallowed his disappointment, telling himself it was no more than he deserved if Sirius wasn't willing to reply.

But then a letter arrived after all, delivered by a tiny Scops owl that could barely keep from dropping it. And the letter was nothing like what Remus had expected.

Dear Remus,

I would have written sooner, but it took some doing to get my hands on a quill and a bottle of ink. I'll reuse your piece of parchment, though. Hope you don't mind.

Buckbeak and I are fine. We're on our way someplace warm and comfortable—I won't say where, just in case. Being on the run isn't easy, but it's a damn sight better than being in Azkaban. Or being a soulless wretch that a dementor has Kissed. And that would be me, right now, if you hadn't seen us on the Map and come down to the Shack. I don't think Harry would have killed me in the end, but he and his friends certainly could have Stunned me and turned me over to Fudge. They never would have listened to my story if you hadn't been there, but they trusted you enough to let you explain. So you can stop beating yourself up about the Wolfsbane and be glad that you did exactly what you did. I owe you one.

Write to me often, Moony, won't you? I'll want to know how Harry's doing, and what's going on back home. And I'm bored. Buckbeak and I are good friends by now, but he's not much for conversation.

—Sirius

And so Remus found himself trading letters with his old mate. It was almost as though the long years after Voldemort's fall had never happened.

Especially since neither of them ever wrote a word about the past again.

Sirius wrote frequently at first, his cheerful scribbles delivered by great gaudy tropical birds. Lately, though, the notes had become cryptic and much more sporadic, and they were carried by owls that seemed to have been...diverted...from the post office at Hogsmeade. Remus suspected that Sirius was back up north watching out for Harry, who had been caught up unexpectedly in the Triwizard Tournament at Hogwarts. He could only hope that Sirius was watching out for himself as well.

. * . * .
After finishing the second job application, Remus eyed the soggy teabag, considering his chances of coaxing yet another cup of tea out of it. But pale brown water was not really what he wanted, so he settled for doing the washing up instead. Then he sent a broom skimming over the already spotless floor and set things to rights, looking around with some pride. He was managing perfectly well. He had this flat. He had his Wizengamot research, his eternal job hunt, and towering piles of library books to keep him busy. He even had letters from friends to look forward to. Things could have been so very much worse.

He fished a few Sickles out of a leather pouch he kept deep inside a cupboard and picked up his letters. It was time for the daily trek to the Owl Office.

Remus locked his flat, climbed a narrow dark staircase, and opened the building's front door to a sunny June morning. His eyes were dazzled by the sudden brightness, so he heard the gruff bark before he saw the huge, shaggy black dog bounding toward him from behind a row of dustbins.

He froze—but only for an instant. Then he pulled the heavy door wide open. "Inside!" he hissed. The dog obliged, thumping eagerly down the stairs, sniffing as it went. Remus followed more slowly. Without a word, he let the dog into his flat and paused to lock the door behind them. When he turned around, the scruffy stray had transformed into a gaunt but roguishly grinning Sirius Black.

. * . * .
Sirius stretched, savouring the feeling of standing on two legs instead of four. He glanced around the minuscule flat—dark stone walls, cold stone floor, tiny windows that barely let in any light at all. A battered metal table that someone else must have cast off, because surely, no one would choose such a thing. It was awfully depressing.

But he grinned at the look of shock on old Moony's face when he turned away from the door.

"What on earth are you doing here?" Remus's voice was sharp. "It's not safe! Someone could have recognized you!"

"Is that any way to greet an old friend?" Sirius shook his head in mock disappointment. "Aren't you glad to see me?"

Remus sighed, and some of the anger and worry faded from his eyes. "Of course I am." He even managed half a grin, for a moment. "But you know it isn't worth the risk!"

Sirius shook his head slowly, hit with a sudden rush of guilt for letting his delight at this reunion push aside the weight of the sombre news he bore. "Actually, I'm afraid it is." He spun one of the rickety chairs around and straddled it backward, leaning his elbows on the backrest. "Dumbledore sent me to find you."

Remus went rigid. "What happened?"

"Voldemort's back."

Staring in disbelief, Remus pulled another chair out and slowly sank into it. "Back?"

"He's got himself some kind of human-like body again, and he managed to summon about a dozen old Death Eaters to join him."

"Harry—is he—?" Remus's face was white.

Sirius rested a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Harry's all right. It was a close call, though. There was a Portkey—long story—anyway, it sent Harry to a graveyard where Voldemort was waiting for him." Rage boiled up, as it did whenever he thought about what happened that night. "Peter was there."

Remus's face darkened, and he muttered something under his breath.

"Peter's been looking after Voldemort all year, it seems. He was the one who brewed the potion that made the new body." Sirius grimaced. "They needed a bit of Harry's blood for it. Then the little rat cut off his own hand into the potion—that's how devoted he is to his master." He spat into the fireplace. "Peter even killed the other boy."

"What?" Remus looked horrified.

Sirius blinked, dismayed. "I forgot; you must have taught him last year! It was the other Hogwarts champion. I can't remember his name..."

"Cedric Diggory," said Remus distantly. "A fine young man."

They sat without speaking for a moment. Sirius watched as Remus clenched his jaw and closed his eyes, fighting back what was obviously a wave of cold fury. He couldn't help wondering if Remus used to feel that way about him, before last year. Damn that rat. For everything.

Remus rubbed at his temples and looked up again, his eyes clear and calm now. "How on earth did Harry escape? Why didn't Voldemort kill him right there?"

Sirius thought of Harry, pale and exhausted in Dumbledore's office, and of the look on his too-young, too-old face when he told them about Priori Incantatem. Sirius knew that he would give just about anything to talk to James and Lily again, even if they were only a shadow or an echo of what they'd once been. He swallowed. "That's another long story." He forced himself to meet Remus's gaze. "I'll tell you some other time, I promise. But there are things we need to do now."

Remus watched him for a moment, looking curious but concerned. He nodded.

Sirius took a deep breath and plunged on. "Dumbledore wants us to recall the Order of the Phoenix right away. Discreetly. Fudge is being difficult...it looks like official Ministry policy is to deny that anything is happening at all. So Dumbledore told me to come stay with you, and get in touch with Dung, and old Mrs. Figg, and the rest of the crowd. You and I will need to contact everyone in person. No owls, no Floo."

But now Remus was appraising him through narrowed eyes. "So an escaped convict with a ten-thousand Galleon price on his head is going to wander around the country making contact with a dozen experts in Defensive magic?"

"They're fellow Order members, aren't they? I'll just tell them Dumbledore sent me..."

Remus was clearly unimpressed. "I believed you were guilty until I saw Peter on the Map that night, and I was one of your best mates. Even Sturgis, or Emmeline, or Dung might Stun you and have the Aurors on their way to pick you up before you had a chance to open your mouth." A faint grin stole across his face again. "Well, maybe not Dung." The grin faded. "Anyway, you need to stay here. I'll contact the others—and convince them you're innocent before they meet up with you."

Sirius glowered. Inaction didn't suit him.

Remus rolled his eyes and poked Sirius in the shoulder. "Besides, when was the last time you had any sleep?"

Sirius shrugged. "Couple of nights ago, I guess. I came straight down here from Hogwarts."

"I thought as much. Look, let me make you some breakfast. Then I'll go talk to everyone, while you get some rest." He poured Sirius a cup of tea and busied himself at the hot plate that was balanced on a corner of the small kitchen counter.

Sirius shifted uncomfortably in his chair. He would bet that old Moony was barely scraping by, and he didn't want to eat up all his food. But he was too hungry and tired to protest, especially once the lovely smell of frying eggs began to fill the flat.

He tipped his chair back and looked around the dim room. "Who does your decorating? Only I'd fire them, if I were you." Everything was spotlessly clean, and not an item was out of place—this was Remus, after all. But the only furniture to be seen, aside from the battered table and chairs, was a bed, neatly made up, with pillows all along one side as though to encourage it to pretend to be a sofa. A tatty blue rug alongside the bed was the sole attempt at decoration. It was truly dreadful.

Remus laughed. "Don't malign my flat," he said affably. "It's perfect, you know."

"Perfect." Sirius's eyebrows were lost in his tangled hair.

"Perfect." Remus turned the eggs with a deft flick of his wand. "For starters, the landlady doesn't mind renting to a werewolf. That's a definite advantage, right there." He set some bread to toast. "Second, look around. That's a Murphy bed—it folds right up into that cabinet on the wall. So every month I just close up the bed, lock my things in the cupboards, and voila—nothing for the wolf to damage. That's the beauty of stone walls." He passed Sirius a second teabag and filled his cup with hot water again. "Third, the rent isn't bad at all."

"I should think not," Sirius snorted, stirring sugar liberally into his tea. "Your neighbours all seem to be Muggle drug dealers. Between that, and the decor, I think your landlady ought to pay you to live here."

Remus laughed again, his eyes dancing. "It may not be up to the standards of your old bachelor flat," he conceded. "But it's my own place, and no one's going to throw me out. It's perfect."

He pulled a slightly chipped plate out of a cupboard and filled it. "I'm all out of jam and butter, I'm afraid. You'll have to eat the toast with the egg." He set the plate in front of Sirius and sat down at the table again, pouring himself a fresh cup of tea.

"Egg and toast is marvellous. Ta." Sirius fell to, making short work of the hot meal. But his thoughts were racing, even while he ate, and eventually he set down his fork and gave voice to the question that had been troubling him for months—ever since he'd started reading between the lines of Remus's letters and guessing how few people his old friend had to depend on.

"If your life is so perfect nowadays, who looks after you?"

Remus looked up from his tea, surprised. "I look after myself, of course." His mouth quirked into a grin. "I'm perfectly capable of cooking. I can even tidy up, all on my own."

Sirius scowled at him. "That's not what I meant." No one who'd seen Remus at Hogwarts would ever question his ability to keep his flat neat as a pin. "Who comes and checks on you after full moons, the way we used to do after we all left school?"

Remus shrugged, scrutinizing his teacup. "I meant what I said—I can look after myself. There's nothing in this flat I can damage, and I know a lot of first-aid spells by now." He abruptly stood and crossed to one of the cupboards, pulling out a faded towel, a pair of shabby but clean pyjamas, and a new toothbrush. "Here, you go have a shower while I put things away, and then I'll get started rounding up people in the Order."

Sirius was far from satisfied with that answer, but it was clearly all he was going to get out of Moony for now.

. * . * .
Remus had just started making up the bed with fresh sheets when he heard the water stop running. Sirius emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later, still looking shaggy and gaunt, but clean now.

"Oh, much better." Remus lobbed a pillow at him, Gryffindor style. "Now maybe the Order will believe me when I tell them you're innocent. Especially if you've had a bit of a sleep by the time they lay eyes on you."

"Git." Sirius sent the pillow back—his aim was as good as ever. "Are you really planning to bring everybody back here tonight for a meeting?"

"Hardly." Remus couldn't help chuckling at the thought. "This flat is too small to hold the old crowd, let alone any new recruits we might come up with." He frowned. "The Order really does need a safe place to meet, though. I wonder if Dumbledore has something planned."

"I've been thinking about that," Sirius said. His voice sounded tight, and Remus glanced up in concern, but Sirius was staring intently at a point just past his left ear. "You know, my dear departed parents put all kinds of secrecy spells on the family house. And it's mine now that they're all dead, whether they've blasted me off that horrible tapestry or not." He forced a laugh. "I'm planning to tell Dumbledore he can have the place for headquarters if he wants it."

Remus turned away from the blankets he was tucking in and stared. Sirius hadn't spoken of his family's home since the day he ran away at sixteen.

"I should probably move back into the house, actually," Sirius went on, even more stiffly. "An Unplottable hideout would be useful for a wanted man." He shuddered. "I'm sure it's absolutely filthy in there, after standing empty for ten years. There was a house elf, but he never was much good for anything, and by now he'd be really old, if he's alive at all..."

Remus gently extricated the damp towel from his friend's grasp, but Sirius didn't seem to notice. "I never thought I'd go back," he muttered. "Hateful old place." He shook his head irritably and sighed. "I'll just have to make sure I'm off on Order missions most days, so I won't have to spend too much time there."

"Sounds like a pretty good place for Order headquarters, if it's Unplottable." Remus wasn't entirely sure what to say.

Sirius turned his sharp gaze on Remus again. "The thing is, Moony, I could use a hand cleaning out the house, and you're the tidiest bloke I've ever seen. Do you think—would you come along and help me get it straightened up?" He gave a deliberately casual shrug. "You could stay there too, if you wanted. There's plenty of bedrooms, all unused." He smiled grimly. "I can't promise it will be any more cheerful than this flat, but at least you'd have a lot more space."

A house abandoned for ten years, and inhabited by Dark wizards before that... Frankly, the prospect of cleaning it out sounded rather daunting. Remus knew better than most how many doxies, ghouls, spiders, and boggarts they were likely to encounter, let alone cursed and dangerous objects and furniture.

But he also knew, better than most, that Sirius Black didn't always say everything he was thinking.

This might actually be a plea for help, for someone to stand with Sirius when he went to confront the ghosts of his past.

Or, it might be Sirius's way of trying to pick up where they had left off, before missions and secrets and suspicions had begun to unravel the most important friendships of Remus's life. To start "looking after Moony," as he and James (and Peter, for a time) had done so many years ago.

Either way, it seemed that Sirius might be extending a metaphorical hand. Looking for an opportunity to make their friendship real again.

Remus looked around at his tiny, shabby, perfect flat, where he was content. Self-sufficient. Safe from any further heartbreak and disappointment.

Where he was alone.

Remus took a deep breath, looked Sirius in the eye, and grinned.

"Absolutely, Padfoot," he said, lightly. "If there are cobwebs that need clearing out, I'm the one for the job."

His flat would still be perfect—for full moons, anyway.

. * . * .
( On to Ch 2 ) ( Up to Chapter Index )

.

Comments

[jncar.livejournal.com]

Hi! It's nice to see this up. I liked reading it again, and I thought I should let you know that I love the line you added where Sirius wonders if Remus used to feel about him the way he now feels about Peter. It provides great insight into the characters and their complicated relationship.

I'm looking forward to seeing chapter 2!

[shimotsuki.livejournal.com]

Thanks -- I'm glad you liked the way that rewritten line came out. I really appreciated your suggestion to reconsider how Sirius would be thinking about Peter (what actually happened was, this scene was in Remus's POV a few versions ago, and I hadn't properly contemplated the difference between their likely attitudes toward Peter when I changed to writing it from Sirius's perspective...)

[(Anonymous)]

Hi Shiiki. You're one of my favorite authors because I have so much confidence that your characters will talk and behave like they do in the books. All your painstaking re-writes are much appreciated by your audience!

This first chapter was fantastic, you expanded your one-shot very well. Did you find it difficult to set the pace for reuniting Remus and Sirius? I puzzle over Remus and Sirius having a close bond in book 5, and yet Sirius living in a cave eating rats while Remus is missing in action in book 4. Jo doesn't give us a lot of clues about their interactions during that missing year, but your version of events is very believable. I cannot wait for chapter 2.

-gringottsbanker

[shimotsuki.livejournal.com]

Thanks very much for reading the chapter and leaving a comment. I'm really happy to hear you liked this expanded version of my original story. I agree that there's a big mystery about where Remus was during GoF, and about how these two appear to be good friends in OotP, through Harry's eyes anyway, despite all the mistrust that went on between them both before and after James and Lily were killed. It's hard to imagine they could have just picked up their friendship where they left off without dealing with some of that mistrust.

Erm, and I should probably explain that I'm not the same person as shiiki, whose stories I have enjoyed on the Sugar Quill...sorry that the similar pennames are a little confusing, but I picked my penname before I knew about hers. ;)

[(Anonymous)]

I totally knew that, I don't know why I typed Shiiki instead of Shimotsuki. You both are excellent, excellent authors, but the compliments above were indeed intended for you, Shimotsuki. Looking forward to chapter 2.

[shimotsuki.livejournal.com]

Aww, thank you very much!

[mrstater.livejournal.com]

I don't usually read a lot of gen because there's just so much to keep one occupied in R/T, but I love your work, and this is fantastic, so I'm really glad I took a peek.

Of course I love what's going on with Remus and Sirius, but what I really like is what a neat character study this is of Remus on his own.

You've done a really great job of reminding us that Remus is poor in little ways, without doing so in a cloying or OTT way.

Since it was his newspaper, and not the library's, at least he'd have the crossword to look forward to that evening.

As he poured more hot water from the kettle, he watched it swirl around the teabag and turn an anaemic brown. The second cup was never quite as good.

Remus eyed the soggy teabag, considering his chances of coaxing yet another cup of tea out of it. But pale brown water was not really what he wanted, so he settled for doing the washing up instead. Then he sent a broom skimming over the already spotless floor and set things to rights, looking around with some pride. He was managing perfectly well. He had this flat. He had his Wizengamot research, his eternal job hunt, and towering piles of library books to keep him busy. He even had letters from friends to look forward to. Things could have been so very much worse.

These all struck me as particularly insightful characterizations and descriptions of every day life for Remus, and they resonated emotionally in their simplicity. I think it's that Remus isn't all "woe is me" about his lifestyle; he's just used to meager things, and that's where the emotion comes in. There's a classiness about the way he doesn't pity himself, the way he keeps trying and finds pleasure in things even though there's that niggling thought at the back of his head that he should just give up.

But in that last paragraph I quoted, you can see just how hard Remus works to convince himself that this is okay, that he's managing, that he's content. He's really teetering at the edge, and it's easy to see how he goes from this optimism to rock bottom in the course of a year, when he's thrown out of even this comfort zone. Particularly astute is the subtle hint at keeping busy being the main thing for Remus -- I've often wondered if it's not so much that living with the other werewolves isn't so much a horrible nasty feral thing 27 days out of the month, but if it's the idleness and boredom of living at the fringe, homeless, as they do, that most gets to him -- feeling useful seems so important to Remus, whether he's making money or not, which you've hinted at here: "I'm all out of jam and butter, I'm afraid. You'll have to eat the toast with the egg." He set the plate in front of Sirius and sat down at the table again, pouring himself a fresh cup of tea. He's not ashamed of being poor, when he has work, even the unpaid kind, to do. But he can't have felt particularly useful in the HBP year, not really managing to convince the werewolves not to follow Voldemort. But again, it's also easy to see how, in between, he meets a girl and lets her into his life, and for a while he can forget...

I really really love Sirius coming in and being so blunt about what a bare, unhomey flat it is. There's a sense, in Remus' satisfaction with actually having a place, that it's nicer than it is, but then Sirius swoops in as a reality check. Remus isn't comfortable, isn't content. And it's both honest of Sirius as a friend to push Remus to want more; and yet it's characteristically insensitive and unthinking of him, almost to want to make others feel things like the does: he acknowledges his frustration and displeasure at his state; he'd like to wallow with Remus about injustice. Which also ties in quite nicely with Sirius' Floo conversation with Harry about the things Remus says about Umbrage -- there's a sense there that it's more things Sirius says about Umbrage to Remus, or that Sirius has gotten Remus worked into a rare state about her...And this really fits that sort of relationship.

I look forward to the next chapter of this, and seeing the relationship between them, and the reconvening of the Order.

[shimotsuki.livejournal.com]

Finding this review from you absolutely blew me away. I'd had a feeling that you tend not to read genfic -- which is completely understandable, because there is just so much fic out there and all of us have our ways of cutting down our reading lists to a manageable size -- but not only did you come over here and read this, you also left an amazingly thoughtful, detailed review. I really appreciate that, especially since I always learn things from the analysis and comments in your reviews. So, thank you!

(As I'm sure you've noticed, even when I'm writing gen, 95% of the time I'm stil fangirling Remus, heh. Actually, chapter 2 of this story will be all Weasleys, but after that there will be a lot of Remus-Molly and Remus-Sirius interactions.)

Particularly astute is the subtle hint at keeping busy being the main thing for Remus -- I hadn't consciously thought this through in so many words, but you're right, that is something I've been implicitly imagining would be important for him. I guess in my mind, Remus subscribes to the school of thought that being a responsible member of society means not being idle. I'm also glad it came through that Remus is not quite as okay as he wants to believe he is, and that Sirius sees this.

And it's both honest of Sirius as a friend to push Remus to want more; and yet it's characteristically insensitive and unthinking of him, almost to want to make others feel things like the does -- Oh, good, that's what I meant (hooray)! What I'm hoping to show through the course of this story is that Sirius is impetuous, and can be quite insensitive, but at the same time he has this sort of fierce brotherly love for Remus, which is more complicated now than it was at school because it's all mixed up with the guilt he feels over having doubted Remus and trusted Peter, and all that that led to.

Anyway, thanks again for your thoughtful and encouraging comments.

[gilpin25.livejournal.com]

I think it's taken me approximately two and a half weeks and the odd tribulation with LJ to actually do a review for this (I tried to do one on Thursday, not realising strange things were happening at the time, and it completely disappeared on me at the end), but I'm determined I'm going to finally say how much I enjoyed this!

Like mrstater, I don't get much chance to look at gen fics, so I tend to stick to a select band of authors simply out of time constraints, and I also find myself agreeing with what she's said so I'll try and avoid repetition. What I always love about your stories is your characterisation of Remus; it's always a sympathetic one, but it doesn't attempt to hide the fact that Remus is to a large extent kidding himself here in his making-the-best-of-everything and let's-be-positive attitude. No wonder it's important to him to keep busy and be useful to everyone. It's a fine line between making him appear slightly pathetic with his teabags and very strong to live like this because of one day a month, but it never once makes me think of the former, and I'm always thinking that I know exactly how he engenders such fierce love and loyalty from his friends. (And if I don't find out what made Sirius and the others doubt him in DH, there's going to be trouble;)).

Thought it was great how Sirius more or less breezed in, giving his orders and information, but then ended up doing exactly as he was told by Remus, who can at once see the impulsive and impractical nature of the plans. That nicely reflects what we see of their relationship in OotP. I very much liked this Sirius, too; the slightly snooty thoughts of Mr Black, fresh from his prison cell - A battered metal table that someone else must have cast off, because surely, no one would choose such a thing. It was awfully depressing - and how totally tactless he is in pointing this out later on, but he's then a good enough friend to worry about not eating all his food and engineer an invitation to Grimmauld in such a way as to not offend Remus' pride. It's easy to see how strong the friendship once was, and from the comment about wondering if Remus had regarded him like he now did Peter, how much rebuilding there is to do underneath the surface forgiveness.

Hope you'll forgive me one Brit-pick but it's that 'gotten' word again. We'd just say 'got' where you've used it.

I was totally engrossed throughout this and, having seen your comments on what is to come, am very, very eager to read the next part. It's an excellent read and I loved what was revealed about them both.

[shimotsuki.livejournal.com]

I'm so grateful that you stopped by to read a genfic piece, and persevered in leaving a review even after LJ ate one! That goes above and beyond...

It's a fine line between making him appear slightly pathetic with his teabags -- LOL. Did you notice that he puts up a brave front in public, though, giving TWO teabags to Sirius and taking a whole new one himself? Seriously, though, I was trying to show how the need to be frugal pervades every aspect of his life, but he still wants to be as generous as he can with his friends, and his stubborn pride means that he'd rather not call attention to his difficulties any more than he can help.

I do love writing the friendship between Remus and Sirius, and I'm glad you thought it worked. engineer an invitation to Grimmauld in such a way as to not offend Remus' pride -- Yes, definitely that, but also Sirius desperately wants someone to help him face returning to that house, although he doesn't want to own up to his own weakness on that front.

Hope you'll forgive me one Brit-pick but it's that 'gotten' word again. Arrrggggh! Thank you! I read this piece over a good dozen times during the final edit stage and I missed three of them. (Next time I'd better search-and-replace.) I think I've removed all the 'gottens' here now. (And please feel free to Brit-pick anytime something sounds off to you.)

As for future chapters -- if you're looking for more Remus and Sirius, you may want to give Ch 2 a miss as it's going to be all Weasleys, heh (plus a bit of Dumbledore). But Moony and Padfoot will be back in Ch 3 with lots of tricky conversations to get through.

Thank you so much for the encouraging comments. I'm very happy that you liked this!

[(Anonymous)]

I love this! Remus and Sirius are my absolute favorite characters (besides Harry of course) (and Tonks!)

I got what Sirius meant by 'who was going to look after Remus.' *ahem* Tonks *ahem* Remus definitely deserved a woman and rather he wanted to admit it or not, I know that he felt that way too.

Anyway, can't wait to read more. Write more soon:)

[shimotsuki.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the kind words! I'm pretty sure Ch 3 will be done in a week or so.

I'm not sure Sirius is thinking that Remus needs a woman (...yet...), but he's definitely fixated on the fact that Remus has been more or less alone - especially with regard to the "furry little problem" -- since Halloween 1981. I like a Sirius who can come out of his own depression long enough to worry about an old friend.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah that's true. I personally think that Remus and Sirius could both agree that neither one of them needed a woman in their lives, yet.

But, yes I most definitely agree that Sirius is better when he's more concerned about other people rather then himself, especially Harry and Lupin.

Great job. Keep this up!!

[paulamcg.livejournal.com]

I’m so glad that thanks to the recent update I’ve now found this chapter one. It’s good to read a excellently-written description of Remus’s life in this period. And I can’t help loving your Remus (with his teabags,yes) and his interaction with Sirius (although for years I’ve chosen to read only R/S).

[shimotsuki.livejournal.com]

Thanks for reading and commenting! I do find the interaction between Remus and Sirius fascinating, whether it's cast as friendship or a romantic relationship.

[paulamcg.livejournal.com]

I used to avoid romance and read well-written genfic regardless of the characters (and write huge reviews), although Remus has always been my favourite in fanfic (and in canon before HBP). But gradually, while R/S has got slightly less subtle in my stories (which could be called borderline gen/slash), I’ve ended up friending mainly R/S writers. Now I’d like to friend you, if that could help me meet your Remus and Sirius again.

[shimotsuki.livejournal.com]

You are most welcome to friend me! I hope I'll be updating "Order" again in August or September, and then there's one more chapter to go, which if I'm lucky I'll be able to post by the end of the year.

But I should warn you that if you do friend me, you'll see that the majority of what I write is Remus/Tonks or pre-R/T, and I understand if that's not your cup of tea. I write that ship because it's part of Remus's canon story, and because I like Tonks too. And most of all because I think JKR gave both characters short shrift in HBP and DH, and I like to write enough backstory to fit the HBP/DH scenes into characterizations of both Remus and Tonks that are more like what we see in OotP (and PoA for Remus). I'm actually as interested in the character development that has to go on for the ship to happen, as in writing romance for the sake of romance (here's an example (http://shimotsuki.livejournal.com/17779.html): this one is pre-R/T, featuring Remus, Sirius, and Tonks), but I do understand that some people simply can't stomach Remus/Tonks no matter what.

In case you'd rather just follow some more genfic stories, I have some Marauder-era pieces here (http://shimotsuki.livejournal.com/3273.html#cutid2), and some Harry-era pieces, one of which focuses on Remus, here (http://shimotsuki.livejournal.com/3273.html#cutid3).

In any case, thanks again for the interest and the comments. :)

[paulamcg.livejournal.com]

I’ve now friended you. Thank you so much – for the links as well. Now I’ll have to watch out, so that I’ll have some time left for my writing, too, in addition to enjoying yours! But this contact now reminds me of the good old times when reading fanfic more widely rather inspired me. Back in 2003 and until summer 2005 I actually both admired and enjoyed some R/T writers’ work (particularly such stories in which the romance was not the sole or even the main point) and I also loved discussing Remus with some of them.

After HBP I found R/S romance more clearly not my cup of tea partly due to the way it was shown in HBP and... perhaps it was just a wrong impression of mine, but I felt that R/T writers were too sure that they were writing the only correct story about Remus. Besides, this ship issue was not the only reason why I preferred not thinking about HBP much: Rowling disappointed me more seriously by abandoning the minority theme I’d perceived in the earlier books, and by non-humanising Harry’s enemies. But after seeing the HBP movie I feel it’s time to appreciate the best aspects of post-OotP canon and the best of such Remus fic, too, which doesn’t ignore HBP and DH (although – while my short stories don’t actually contradict the last two books either – my chaptered fic is books-one-to-five-compliant only).

I understand that you don’t friend back new readers just like that. But I’ll be happy if you want to take a look and to consider friending. I update seldom and almost exclusively with fic entries, and they are all about my Remus.

[shimotsuki.livejournal.com]

Rowling disappointed me more seriously by abandoning the minority theme I’d perceived in the earlier books

Oh, amen to that! There could have been so much more done in the last two books with the rights of non-human creatures, especially given the importance of goblins in DH, and the fact that Remus spent so much of HBP in contact with other werewolves. DH would have been the perfect chance to do this against the backdrop of all the persecution of Muggle-borns, which might have made the wizarding population more sensitive to civil rights. *sigh* I'm actually planning a subplot in my R/T project about the HBP werewolves, although since it's plotty and necessarily full of OCs, it scares me a little and I've only posted one piece of it so far.

But I’ll be happy if you want to take a look and to consider friending.

Oh, I have. :) I've seen you around the fandom before, and I look forward to reading more about the life you've created for Remus.

[paulamcg.livejournal.com]

I’m seriously thrilled! So glad I ventured into interaction with a R/T shipper. The two of us seem to have got more in common than I’ve got with a lot of R/S readers who can easily feel that romance is too subtle and far from central enough in my stories. My Remus and I have focused on non-human and part-human creatures’ rights ever since Sirius’s death. In fact, we can be happy that Rowling left that important theme for us to develop.

The chaptered story (novel, I dare say) I’ve been writing since September 2003 and now finally edited and almost completed is plotty and full of OCs – and I’m excited you are working on something along some – at least somehow – similar lines. Of course, there must be big differences not only due to our choices in ships, but also because the way I developed werewolves – and the whole of the plot, naturally – was rendered AU by BHP.

Perhaps we could encourage each other not to be too scared. Do you mean you’ve posted only one instalment (chapter) of this particular R/T fic, or only one such chapter which has something about this subplot in it? I’m a bit scared that potential readers might be scared off by something in my opening, so I’ve decided to start posting the story on lj first friends-locked, hoping that someone on my flist will like to say whether I should revise it more radically, or perhaps change the title or something. Even after I’ve polished it a bit, the style in the early chapters is different from how I write now, and the story grows so much in intensity, depth and scope later on that the opening looks very humble in my eyes. I’ll be grateful for anything from concrit to just an encouraging nudge, but a comment of any length on any of my short stories will be precious as well.

Oh, it warms my heart that you can actually remember having seen me around before, even though my fics (those competed and published outside The Snitch Forums) have been few and far between over all these years. The earliest dates I’ve seen when following some of the links in your story index are of 2006, and I wonder if you started writing HP fanfic only after HBP.

[shimotsuki.livejournal.com]

Perhaps we could encourage each other not to be too scared.

That sounds like a fine plan! I will certainly have to go start getting acquainted with your novel and other fic.

Do you mean you’ve posted only one instalment (chapter) of this particular R/T fic, or only one such chapter which has something about this subplot in it?

The latter. My canon-compliant R/T series is called "Kaleidoscope"; I'm writing it out of order as inspiration strikes or fic event prompts send me in different directions. The first werewolf-related installment is called Out of Sight (http://community.livejournal.com/metamorfic_moon/147132.html). Remus's internal monologues are especially angsty here, I'm afraid, because he's just lost Sirius and (in my timeline) he's only just discovered that he has feelings for Tonks -- which he doesn't think he should be having.

Even after I’ve polished it a bit, the style in the early chapters is different from how I write now, and the story grows so much in intensity, depth and scope later on that the opening looks very humble in my eyes. I’ll be grateful for anything from concrit to just an encouraging nudge, but a comment of any length on any of my short stories will be precious as well.

Oh, I know what you mean about writing style developing over time in a long piece! And I will be looking forward to having a chance to read and comment, too.

The earliest dates I’ve seen when following some of the links in your story index are of 2006, and I wonder if you started writing HP fanfic only after HBP.

That's right. I didn't even know fanfic existed until after HBP, when I went online to see if there happened to be anyone anywhere (ha!) speculating about Snape's motivations. Even then it took me another year to start reading fanfic, because at first I thought it was a dreadful idea, hee -- but then reading (and finding good stories) immediately led to writing. This is why I write the Remus/Tonks relationship not having started until after OotP, actually -- not being in fandom at all, it didn't occur to me to ship Remus with anyone until those final scenes in HBP, and that was how I started putting the story together in my head.

And I definitely know your username, probably mostly from comments on fics I find via crack_broom or remus_news or other link/rec sites. I'll be glad to get to know you and your work now.

[(Anonymous)]

Thank you again for having already begun to implement this plan! I’ve also had the pleasure to start getting acquainted with a fascinating series in progress of yours. It sounds wonderful to me that you can work on it like that, out of order and thus inspired by prompts given in (R/T and perhaps other) communities – because that means also that there are always readers to eagerly receive each piece you offer.

Well... in fact, I’ve written what I call my short stories somehow similarly. I’ve seldom followed actual prompts, but at least it’s been possible to publish each piece separately on Fiction Alley and in lj communities (and that’s what I needed in order to get feedback outside The Snitch, which got quieter), while these one-shot fics have gradually covered more of my Remus’s life outside the time my novel deals with, adding new uncontradictory parts to the single story I write in the fandom.

So in case you feel like reading a shorter piece which can also stand on its own, and to get a better idea of my style than what the early novel chapters can offer, you can click on any of the story links in my profile, where all my fics are listed in chronological order. For instance, you can choose an era that particularly interests you.

Well, I didn’t know fandoms or fanfic existed, until right after reading OotP I just needed to know if there was anyone anywhere willing to discuss it, and found The Snitch Forums. But (whereas Snape’s motivations were perhaps the single issue that interested me most in canon after I’d read HBP) by September 2003 I got bored with only speculating – and started writing and posted the first instalment of my Remus fic before I’d bothered to read any other fanfic apart from a chapter one (about Harry getting his OWL results) which someone on the forums asked me to review. And it actually took me almost a year to find out that there were other people out there shipping Remus and Sirius, since slash was not encouraged on the Snitch. I realised how my Remus had loved Sirius while I was writing my chapter one.

I’m so happy to have met you – to know that someone like you, too, doesn’t think it’s a dreadful idea to go on writing about Remus’s life. It’s also nice to think that there are some signs around of my fandom activity as comments on stories I’ve enjoyed reading over the years.

[paulamcg.livejournal.com]

Sorry, I didn't notice I wasn't logged in.

[lenaf007.livejournal.com]

This is really cool! Poor Remus' place is pretty horrible, and Sirius' won't be much better. Oh Sirius - I'll just have to make sure I'm on Order business to keep me away from my creepy house that I hate!

Famous last words...

I stumbled across this on the genfic_hogwarts site and really enjoyed it. Looking forward to reading the other parts. =)

[shimotsuki.livejournal.com]

Famous last words...

Indeed! Poor Sirius -- that last year must have been absolutely AWFUL for him.

Thanks for the kind words. :)

[jobey-in-error.livejournal.com]

Did promise I would slowly trawl my way through the shimotsukian archives, didn't I? (BTW, have been curious about that name for a while now.)

I have to say I can't enjoy this fic the way I enjoy a lot of your other ones. Every time I re-read it (and I do keep re-reading -- and dropping everything at new chapters!) it strikes me as relentlessly Remus-centric. Remus-fangirl though I undoubtedly am, it still bugs me to see almost every conversation somehow bent about him. My favorite moments in this fic (I really do have a lot, and I'll get around to regaling you with all of them!) generally are asides that reveal something about the other characters.

In this chapter, for instance, there's the fabulous Sirius insight: They sat without speaking for a moment. Sirius watched as Remus clenched his jaw and closed his eyes, fighting back what was obviously a wave of cold fury. He couldn't help wondering if Remus used to feel that way about him, before last year.

That was awesome. -- Also, it's a tribute to the depth of their friendship that they manage to be as non-awkward as they are, mwaha. ;-)

I don't suppose I have to say anything to beg for the final installment? I'm sure I can just subtly nudge the unease sense of incompletion that I'm sure you already feel... (Cheers for writer's guilt!)

[shimotsuki.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to be so slow in responding! It's been a busy week at work (and it's not over -- I had to bring a bunch of stuff home to do over the weekend), but I've really appreciated your detailed and thoughtful comments on "Order."

it strikes me as relentlessly Remus-centric.

Now I have to say I found your reaction really interesting, because I've always intended this story to be about Remus. It focuses on two themes that I wanted to explore beyond what we see in canon: how Remus and Sirius managed to restore their friendship after what must have been some terribly damaging mistrust back in 1981, and how it is that Molly, who reacts so badly to the werewolf in Arthur's hospital ward in OotP, nevertheless trusts Remus to the point of crying in his arms and encouraging him to get together with Tonks.

I can definitely imagine a story that is more of an ensemble piece set during the pre-OotP summer, and I would love to read such a thing -- and of course it's a perfectly fair opinion to hold that a story like that would be better than what this one is! -- but that isn't what I had meant for this one to be.

And so, your comments really got me thinking, and it's made me realize that the summary I've written for "Order" might not be a good fit: the summary does seem to imply a more even distribution of attention among Remus, Sirius, and Molly, rather than what it really is, which is about how Remus develops his OotP-canon relationships with Sirius and Molly respectively. I am going to see, this weekend or sometime soon, if I can write a better summary (I hate summaries!), and I really appreciate your calling my attention to this point.

I don't suppose I have to say anything to beg for the final installment? I'm sure I can just subtly nudge the unease sense of incompletion that I'm sure you already feel... (Cheers for writer's guilt!)

LOL! I made great strides with the final chapter back in February (*winces*), but I got a little stuck and did turn to some other projects. I'm really, really hoping to get it finished by year's end, though.

(BTW, have been curious about that name for a while now.)

Shimotsuki (霜月) is the name of the old-style Japanese lunar month that roughly corresponds to November, which is when my birthday is. It literally means 'frost moon(=month)', which I think is kind of pretty (see default icon). And if you wanted to read the 'moon' part as an oblique Lupin reference, you wouldn't be entirely off base with that either. ;)

And if the Japanese characters shown above don't work in your browser, you can see them here (http://www.edrdg.org/cgi-bin/wwwjdic/wwwjdic?162815_%C1%FA) and here (http://www.edrdg.org/cgi-bin/wwwjdic/wwwjdic?162956_%B7%EE).

[jobey-in-error.livejournal.com]

Now I have to say I found your reaction really interesting, because I've always intended this story to be about Remus... I can definitely imagine a story that is more of an ensemble piece set during the pre-OotP summer, and I would love to read such a thing -- and of course it's a perfectly fair opinion to hold that a story like that would be better than what this one is! -- but that isn't what I had meant for this one to be.

Point. *is there an embarrassed, rueful-in-a-cute-way emoticon?*

I readily admit that I think some of my dissatisfaction comes because of what I came to the fic with (that being an unslaked thirst for a dramatic, action/adventurey Order fic, first war or second! WHY DOES IT NOT SEEM TO EXIST?) But I do wonder how much of my feeling comes from the inherent difficulty most all fanficcers have when writing about secondary characters -- we write about them because we loved them, but sometimes we (I? should I be saying I? probably) loved them because they were secondary. I suspect there's an art to getting around that, and that this fic really is missing a trick or two. On the other hand, it certainly grabbed a lot of tricks and I still loves it, precious, all 5/6ths of it... *appealing face*

That is a fabulous name. :-) And one of these days I may even procrastinate on something important by reading the Wikipedia article on the Japanese destroyer that pops up whenever I Google your lj. ;-)

[shimotsuki.livejournal.com]

Point. *is there an embarrassed, rueful-in-a-cute-way emoticon?*

No, no, no! I mean, I totally see (in retrospect) why you thought it was going that way. I did rewrite my summary thanks to your comment. ;)

I suspect there's an art to getting around that, and that this fic really is missing a trick or two.

Hmm. Well, something for me to think about, so thanks.

[jobey-in-error.livejournal.com]

Hmm. Well, something for me to think about, so thanks.

You did manage to unerringly pick out the one little sentence that I was hoping you would take with all the positive context. (!) It looks really bald and a little insulting now that I'm looking at it again. It was definitely rather presumptuous, not least of all because I can't seem to back it up with any specifics, but I hope very much that my thinking aloud my feeling that this fic has some small weakness that I just don't see in the rest of your vast fanfic work neither offended nor worried you. And if it did, my apologies. I'll try to be more, what's the word I want, focused? exact? restrained? in future.

[jobey-in-error.livejournal.com]

P.S. BTW, every time I read this chapter and see the letter exchange, I'm always reminded of a certain other fic I really like. Have you ever read Iniga? I think she was semi-retired by the time you entered the fandom, but her "Interim" is clever, amusing -- and also features a great Sirius-Remus correspondence in the last chapter. They spend a ridiculous amount of words trying to shift (read: claim) blame. I recall Sirius finally ending the conversation with something to the effect of: "And anyway, to twist the immortal words of arguing children, I started it." Yours is a lot more sensible, and your Sirius made me laugh just as much, but I think you might appreciate this one as well, if you ever have a spare moment you don't want to use productively.

[jobey-in-error.livejournal.com]

Meant to give a link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/501783/1/Interim

[shimotsuki.livejournal.com]

That's not an author I've run across before, so thanks for the recommendation (and the link)! The story sounds like something I would really enjoy reading -- but I probably shouldn't read it until I finish the final chapter of "Order," so as to avoid undue influence on my take on Remus and Sirius working things out.