shimotsuki | Entries tagged with revision

Chapter 12 of Colours (the first "book" of Kaleidoscope) has been revised and is now up at FanFiction.net. With this chapter, Colours is complete.

Kaleidoscope (I): Colours
12. Blindsided (5590 words | PG)
[also on FF.N] [original LJ version]

Remus makes a terrifying discovery, but he really should have seen it coming. For her part, Tonks discovers just how much Remus intends to deny himself—and her.

What has changed: A few details have been edited to better fit with the canon timeline. There is now a little more about the kiss, because after all, it's the only one they’ll get for a long time. More ‘too old’ and ‘too poor,’ to go along with ‘too dangerous.’ And more about how much Remus needs Tonks as a friend, despite new complications.

( It was getting to be too dark to write. )
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Chapter 11 of Colours (the first "book" of Kaleidoscope) has been revised and is now up at FanFiction.net.

Kaleidoscope (I): Colours
11. Catching Hold (2490 words | PG)
[also on FF.N] [original LJ version at

metamorfic_moon]

Tonks is afraid that Remus will disappear again, the way he did the first time he lost his best friends. But then he shows her something he's never shown anyone else, and she realises that there may be a way to hold on, after all.

What has changed: Minor stylistic revisions. Also, a few edits in the final scene to tighten up the themes of the chapter a little—and set the stage for some of the undercurrents I’m going to need for the beginning of the HBP sequence.

( Tonks very narrowly avoided tripping over the troll’s foot umbrella stand... )
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Chapter 10 of Colours (the first "book" of Kaleidoscope) has been revised and is now up at FanFiction.net.

This is the only chapter from the first part of Kaleidoscope that got more of a rewrite than just a revision. I stewed over this for a few weeks, and have made things a little tougher on poor Remus, but I sort of like the way it all came out. :)

Kaleidoscope (I): Colours
10. Gather Up the Fragments that Remain (3880 words | PG)
[also on FF.N]

After the Department of Mysteries, after Bellatrix, after the Veil, Remus tries to get things done, and tries not to think about what he has lost. Especially when the news he has to deliver to Tonks might cost him her friendship as well.

What has changed: This chapter starts with a scene that is merely a minor revision of the original single-scene ficlet “Gather Up the Fragments” from day_by_drabble. It also incorporates the first two St. Mungo’s scenes from an early metamorfic_moon story, “Clarity”. But there are three entirely new scenes, and the final St. Mungo’s scene has been completely rewritten as well. I wanted to give a better sense of Remus’s shattered mental state, and also make his behavio(u)r fit with an idea I developed in writing later chapters for this series—that he never really lets himself grieve for Sirius until the dam breaks after Dumbledore’s death a year later.

( “Remus?” )
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Chapter 9 of Colours (the first "book" of Kaleidoscope) has been revised and is now up at FanFiction.net.

Kaleidoscope (I): Colours
9. If a Seed be Sown (3460 words | PG)
[also on FF.N] [original LJ version: Friends, at

metamorfic_moon]

Tonks has almost given up hope that Remus will ever see her as more than a friend, until Sirius steps in to do what he can for his friends. But no one expects the evening to end the way it does.

What has changed: New title (formerly “Friends”). Some exposition-y paragraphs have been removed, since the information isn’t needed if this chapter is read in its place in the series sequence. Some of the details of the developing relationship between Remus and Tonks have been slightly altered to bring things into line with the (more recently written) preceding chapters, especially Words Unspoken. A little more emphasis has been put on how Sirius is going to react if he hears that Harry is in trouble. And the ending of the chapter has been elaborated a little.

( Tonks tapped her wand along the front door of number twelve, Grimmauld Place... )
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Chapter 8 of Colours (the first "book" of Kaleidoscope) has been revised and is now up at FanFiction.net.

Kaleidoscope (I): Colours
8. Unforeseen Attachments (3690 words | PG)
[also on FF.N] [old LJ version at

metamorfic_moon]

The Weasley twins apply their formidable research and development skills to the problem of Walburga Black’s portrait, but things go wrong rather quickly. At least Tonks is there to save the day — only, now Remus is starting to notice just how many of her evenings she spends at Grimmauld Place.

What has changed: Minor revisions; mostly stylistic, but a few details have been added to make a bigger point of the fact that Sirius is getting more depressed and less stable as the year goes on.

( Remus flicked his wand, the motion smooth and practised. )
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Chapter 7 of Colours (the first "book" of Kaleidoscope) is now up at FanFiction.net. This was the very last installment I wrote before I started revising Colours, so the changes are minimal, and I've just gone in and cleaned up the original post a little rather than reposting.

Kaleidoscope (I): Colours
7. Words Unspoken (3240 words | PG-13/mild profanity and very mild innuendo)
[also on FF.N] [LJ version here]

Tonks is having a hard time balancing her daily life with all the secrets she must keep for the Order. Remus gives her some advice — but in doing so, he only makes the whole situation that much more complicated.

What has changed: Stylistic revisions only.

Chapter 6 of Colours (the first "book" of Kaleidoscope) has been revised and is now up at FanFiction.net.

Kaleidoscope (I): Colours
6. The Things We Remember (4705 words | PG)
[also on FF.N] [old LJ version at

metamorfic_moon]

Sometimes, the hardest thing about Christmas is not the giving, but the receiving. Still, a carefully chosen Muggle gift just might be magical enough to set a little piece of the past right again.

What has changed: Minor revisions. Mostly, I trimmed the treacliest bits. There’s a new ending—I never did like the original one (this story was an Advent piece at Meta, so of course, I was running up against the deadline!). And now there’s also a little more of a theme to what it was Tonks wanted to give Remus, to balance the theme in Remus's gift to Tonks.

( Remus found Sirius right where he’d left him two hours before... )
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Chapter 5 of Colours (the first "book" of Kaleidoscope) has been revised and is now up at FanFiction.net.

Kaleidoscope (I): Colours
5. Moon by Moon (2800 words | PG)
[also on FF.N] [old LJ version at

metamorfic_moon]

Last month, Sirius carefully explained to Tonks that Remus needs privacy after the full moon. But now somehow, something has started to change.

What has changed: I’ve moved the timeline up one month, to start in September rather than October, because it makes more sense for “Stripes” to have taken place in August. Also, a few new details have been added; in particular, the third scene has been expanded to take into account the fact that at some point, Remus and Sirius would have had to face Hallowe’en.

( September )
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Chapter 4 of Colours (the first "book" of Kaleidoscope) has been revised and is now up at FanFiction.net.

Kaleidoscope (I): Colours
4. Stripes (2710 words | PG)
[also on FF.N] [old LJ version]

Sirius discovers that Tonks is unaware of something rather important about Remus, so he takes matters into his own hands.

What has changed: This chapter needed to be brought in line with a plot point that has emerged in chapters 2 and 3 (which were written much later): Remus not being able to make himself tell Tonks about his furry little problem. There are small changes in the first and last scenes, and major changes in the third (the breakfast conversation), in order to make this aspect of the story more consistent.

( Sirius sat slouched in a corner of the kitchen... )
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Chapters 2 and 3 of Colours (the first "book" of Kaleidoscope) are now up at FanFiction.net. These chapters are some of the most recent I'd written, so not a lot got revised here -- in fact, there were so few changes that I just went in and made them on the original fic posts instead of reposting for the LJ version. The next two or three chapters coming up do have some revised scenes, and I've finally finished the first draft of a major rewrite with about 50% new material for the Remus-visits-Tonks-in-St. Mungo's sequence in chapter 10. But, boring this week. ;)

Kaleidoscope (I): Colours
2. The Lie of the Land (1605 words | PG)
[also on FF.N] [LJ version here]

Remus learns a few things about the newest Order member when he recruits her for a spot of pranking. It does occur to him to wonder what she might have learned, in turn.

What has changed: Stylistic revisions only.

3. Marauding for the Cause (3920 words | PG)
[also on FF.N] [LJ version here]

An Order mission featuring Death Eaters, a banshee lamp, and high expectations all around.

What has changed: Stylistic revisions only.

I've started posting the revision of Colours, the first "book" of Kaleidoscope, at FanFiction.net; the first chapter is up now. Each week as a chapter goes up, I'll be archiving the revision on LJ, too. This is not in any way a plea for comments from my f-list ;) -- believe me, just about anyone who sees this will have already read these chapters in their original version (or two), and the revisions for most chapters are fairly minor (chapter 10 being a significant exception, but we'll get there in a few weeks). It's just that I want to keep the updated versions here as well, since LJ is my home base for writing projects.

Kaleidoscope (I): Colours
1. Angles of Perception (3505 words | PG)
[also on FF.N] [old LJ version]

Tonks used to think that her life as an Auror was busy enough. Little did she know that one curry lunch with Kingsley Shacklebolt would get her involved with an underground organisation, her fugitive cousin, and a quiet man who, she suspects, might be a lot more interesting than he looks.

What has changed: Minor revisions. The title is new (formerly "Initiation"), and a few details have been added to acknowledge that Mad-Eye hasn't been out of that trunk for very long.

( Auror Headquarters was never exactly quiet. )
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