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[personal profile] shimotsuki
Title: Long Memories
Author: [livejournal.com profile] shimotsuki
Word count: 2101
Rating: G
Summary: Once Remus finally braves the Hogwarts staffroom, the transition from student to teacher is easier than he expected.
Genre: (Mild) humour
Author's note: This is my [livejournal.com profile] grand_national prize fic for [livejournal.com profile] ladybracknell, who requested Hogwarts teachers, PoA year.

Long Memories

"If you like," Minerva had said at dinner in the Great Hall, "bring your essays down to the staffroom tonight." She had smiled—no, grinned—at him. "On Thursday nights most of us mark papers together, over tea and biscuits and a bit of gossip. It's an old Hogwarts tradition."

That explained a lot, actually. Walking along a drafty corridor with his O.W.L. classes' essays under one arm, Remus thought of four boys, up in Gryffindor Tower, piled onto Peter's bed so they could all see the Map.

The tiny dots labelled Professor began to congregate in the staffroom. James, who was uncannily quick to notice patterns in days and weeks—and months, as Remus knew from firsthand experience—sat bolt upright. "It's Thursday again. I think the teachers do this every Thursday." So then they spent the rest of the evening spinning ever wilder tales about their teachers' Thursday night exploits, each of them trying to outdo the others, and the Map lay forgotten on Peter's pillow.

Not so very long ago, Remus would have stopped a memory like that before it had a chance to start. But now that he was back at Hogwarts rubbing shoulders with the echoes of his past, he let himself remember sometimes, the way he might touch a bruise to see how much it hurt. And most of the memories turned out not to be so painful after all. He even sniggered a little now, thinking of Sirius, who had assumed an earnest expression and declared with unshakeable solemnity that the teachers spent Thursday evenings sitting around the staffroom playing Exploding Snap. In the nude.

It was all right to snigger at that Sirius, the one who was just a boy, one of his best friends. Remus only felt sick to his stomach when he thought of the other Sirius, the one who—

No.

Anyway, now he knew what the teachers really did on Thursday nights.

. * . * .

Remus climbed another staircase and made his way down one last corridor. And there, under his hand, was the rough iron handle of the staffroom door.

He'd been a teacher for almost a week already, but he hadn't really been in there yet, except when he brought the third-year Gryffindors to face the boggart. Old habits die hard; to students, the staffroom was forbidden, by tradition if not actually by rule, and Remus still felt a bit odd about just walking in.

Not that he hadn't been in the staffroom as a student. In fact, he had been the one to come up with a particularly memorable prank involving Dr. Filibuster's Fireworks, placed strategically under the cushions of each armchair one Thursday afternoon in his sixth year. The Roman candles and Catherine wheels were spell-timed to go off precisely at eight that evening, when, as the Map had shown, most of the staff were likely to be there. Marking papers, Remus thought now, unable to suppress a chuckle at the thought of stacks of parchment going flying when the fireworks show began. And gossiping over tea.

Gossiping. What did they talk about in there?

A muffled giggle made Remus turn around. Three first-year Hufflepuff girls were filing past, grinning shyly at him. One of them waved. "Hi, Professor Lupin!"

Remus smiled and waved back. But if students were watching, he could hardly stand out here dithering. Besides, the gargoyles that guarded the entrance were starting to give him funny looks. He gritted his teeth and pushed the door open.

. * . * .

The staffroom was warm and cozy, with a crackling fire in the grate and tea things laid out on a low table along one wall. A dozen teachers, buried in essays, had settled into the faded but nicely squashy armchairs. Faces looked up when he came in, and he was happy to see that most of them were friendly.

One, however, was not. With an ugly scowl, Severus Snape stood, elbowed roughly past Remus and slammed the door behind him.

"Must have been quite the boggart," Pomona Sprout remarked, regarding Remus somewhat shrewdly. She was curled up with her stocking feet tucked under her and a pair of muddy boots beneath her chair.

Remus responded with a sheepish grin. His primary objective had been to bolster Neville's confidence, not to humiliate Snape, and he wasn't at all sure what the other staff members thought about the whole episode. "I just didn't feel it was right for a third-year student to have the thing he feared most of all be a teacher."

Pomona's chin rose. "I quite agree with you." She sighed. "If even half my students wrote their Herbology essays as well as Neville Longbottom does—well, I'd have been done marking these by now!"

"Indeed. Transfiguration has never been Mr. Longbottom's best subject, I'm afraid, but at least his homework is readable." Minerva gave the piece of parchment she was holding an irritable shake. "Mr. Macmillan seems to believe that the more large words he uses, the better—never mind that half of them are used incorrectly and I have no idea what he's trying to say."

Remus looked around the room for a place to sit. Somehow, he didn't relish taking the seat that Snape had just vacated. Minerva beckoned to him, shifting a stack of books and papers from a comfortable-looking chair next to hers. "Come and sit here, Remus—it's a prime spot, close to the biscuits."

"Thank you, ...Minerva."

Remus felt his face grow warm, and he glanced around to see if anyone had heard the silent "Professor McGonagall" that he'd barely been able to bite back. But no one seemed to be paying him any particular attention, so he settled into the chair and got to work on his marking.

. * . * .

Roger Davies seemed to have confused the manticore with the chimaera. Remus stopped, quill poised in midair, and frowned. Maybe he hadn't taught that lesson clearly enough. He thumbed through the pile of papers, checking a few others at random. Cedric Diggory had kept the two straight, and so had Angelina Johnson. All right, maybe it was Roger's mistake and not his. He relaxed a bit and wrote a few crimson comments in the margin.

The staffroom door opened again, and Filius Flitwick came bouncing in. "I've got the first Charms assignment from the fifth-years," he announced breathlessly. "Let's see what those boys came up with over the summer!"

Everyone put down their own marking and sat up straighter, to get a better look at the two pieces of homework that Filius laid gently on the floor.

Puzzled, Remus glanced over at Minerva. She seemed to be suppressing a smile. "Misters Fred and George Weasley are in the habit of charming their Charms homework to do something interesting when Filius touches it with his quill," she explained. "He usually brings their papers down here to mark so we can all enjoy the performance."

Ah. Remus was already acquainted with the Weasley twins. He had a strong suspicion that those two deserved the title of Marauder, if any of the current students did. He chuckled and clapped along with the rest of the teachers when one piece of parchment folded itself up into a hawk and began to chase after the other, which seemed to have become a pigeon. The paper birds sped around the room, swerving to avoid teapots and teachers' heads, until Filius finally stopped them with a graceful Finite.

But the merriment quickly faded when Minerva spoke again. "Speaking of Weasleys, I won't have the second-year Gryffindors until tomorrow. Has anyone seen how Miss Weasley is doing in lessons this term?"

"Fine so far, I'd say," said Pomona. Filius nodded.

Minerva sighed. "I've spoken to her privately as her Head of House, of course. But we should all keep an eye on her this year and make sure she's talking to her classmates." She shook her head sharply. "I thought it was because she was the youngest, and the only girl. I should have known that no Weasley could possibly be that quiet by nature."

Remus understood what Minerva was getting at—Dumbledore had quietly filled him in on what happened with the diary the year before. "The second-year Gryffindors had double Defence with Ravenclaw this morning," he offered. "I had them practising Impedimenta and Expelliarmus. Ginny was managing some exceptionally quick spellwork."

Minerva nodded thoughtfully. "Last year's experience may have made her very eager to master Defence."

Thinking about that morning's second-year lesson made Remus remember something else. "Luna Lovegood is, erm, rather unique, isn't she?"

Filius laughed his squeaky laugh. "Her father is the editor of The Quibbler, you know."

Understanding dawned. "I see."

"Going on about Crumple-horned Snorkacks, was she?" Filius asked conspiratorially.

"No, those didn't come up." Remus remembered Luna raising her hand to speak, her large eyes somehow intense and unfocused at the same time. "She wanted to warn everyone about Dofnuppies before I started them practicing with the Impediment Jinx."

"Dofnuppies?" said Pomona. "That's a new one. What do they do?"

"Apparently," said Remus, not even trying to keep the amusement out of his voice, "if someone casts Impedimenta on you and there are Dofnuppies nearby, they take advantage of your impeded state to run up your robes and take up residence in your ears. And once you have Dofnuppies in your ears, you become unable to hear names, dates, and times correctly, so you'll never be able to keep an appointment again until you have a specialist remove them for you." He paused and raised an eyebrow. "I asked Luna how you would make an appointment with the specialist if you already have Dofnuppies, but she just blinked at me and explained that of course you'd have to have someone else take you there."

There was appreciative laughter, which gave Remus a warm feeling in the pit of his stomach. This was actually going to work; he really could teach at Hogwarts. The students mostly seemed to listen to what he had to say, except for some of the Slytherins. (And, apparently, Roger Davies, although that evidently stemmed from interest in girls rather than insolence toward a shabby, untested professor.) Even the staff seemed to view him as just another teacher, not an impostor or an interloper. And no one at all—other than Severus Snape, of course—seemed to be dwelling on the fact that he was a werewolf.

Remus smiled into his cup of tea and picked up his stack of essays again.

. * . * .

"What are you grinning about over there, Remus?"

He looked up to see Pomona peering at him in a friendly sort of way.

"It's just—" He couldn't say, I never thought I'd be able to sit in a room with this many people all knowing what I am and no one fleeing or screaming. "I used to wonder what the teachers did in here, but I never imagined they were talking about the students!"

"It's not all gossip, you know," said Pomona briskly, but then she giggled. "Sometimes we play games. You can always find someone to play chess with—or Exploding Snap."

Remus had to blink, hard, but he managed to keep the guffaw from escaping. If only he could tell Sirius—

No.

—if only he could tell James and Peter that they'd been halfway right after all.

. * . * .

For a few minutes, all was quiet except for the scratching of quills on parchment.

Then the ancient wall clock chimed eight.

A single Filibuster's went off, right under the cushion on the armchair where Remus was sitting, enveloping him in showers of red and gold sparks. Caught completely by surprise, he gave a small yelp, and his carefully sorted stack of parchments landed in a jumble on the floor.

The staffroom erupted in mirth. Pomona was wiping her eyes on her sleeve. Filius laughed hard enough to slide off his chair, scattering his own essays in all directions, and the Weasley pigeon took off around the room again. "Been wanting—to see that—for years," he choked out.

Remus was laughing just as hard as anyone. He'd been well and truly pranked. But who was the perpetrator? He scanned the room, looking for telltale signs of triumph or excessive glee. Someone who'd been here when he was a student...

Suddenly, there in the centre of his own personal Catherine wheel, he froze. Red and gold sparks?

Gryffindor colours.

A prime spot, close to the biscuits, indeed.

He turned slowly to his right.

Sure enough, Minerva looked inordinately proud of herself.

"Some of us, Professor Lupin, have very long memories."

. * fin * .

.

Date: 2007-05-15 11:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrstater.livejournal.com
This is really lovely! The end is laugh out loud funny with the teachers plotting to get Mr. Marauder back, and I love that they caught him unawares! Your Remus is adorable here, so quiet and wry and not quite believing he's really a teacher, and that's really believable for the confident teacher we meet in POA to be feeling like that underneath. And the touches of sadness really round him out, too. A really, really nice fic! Thanks for a little Remus to start the day. :)

Date: 2007-05-15 02:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shimotsuki.livejournal.com
Oh, I'm so glad you thought the end was funny; I feel a little insecure about trying to write humor in anything longer than a drabble...

I just hope this Remus hasn't come out looking too much like a wimp, because I didn't mean it that way. I'm fully in agreement with some of the points you've made in discussing your "Magical Creatures" stories, about PoA year being a real high point for him -- he's finally got a meaningful job that he's good at, and he's liked and respected. What I actually meant to do here was write Remus having standard-issue first-teaching-job jitters. I've talked to so many friends and mentors who are teachers, even successful, confident ones, who had this when they started out. (Are the students going to listen to me? If they get the answers wrong, is it actually my fault? How can I call these senior teachers by their first names when they taught me?) Hmmm. If I revise this, maybe I should put a little more in about Remus being thrilled to be teaching at Hogwarts and happy with how his lessons are going.

But anyway, thanks very much for your comments -- I'm happy to hear the story was a fun start to your day. ;)

Date: 2007-05-15 02:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrstater.livejournal.com
No, I didn't think he came across as wimpy at all! I thought he was very much a mixture of confident Marauder and first time teacher. Especially given that he wasn't very proud of his track record as prefect, so he wouldn't be totally sure they'd listen to him! And anyway, yes, first-teaching-job jitters came through perfectly. Don't you worry there!

Date: 2007-05-15 03:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shimotsuki.livejournal.com
first-teaching-job jitters came through perfectly. Don't you worry there! -- Hee hee! I figured the jitters themselves had come through okay; I just meant, I wanted them to be the kind of jitters anyone would have, and not something specific to a wimpy!Remus. But from what you said it sounds like maybe that worked okay. So thanks!

Date: 2007-05-15 03:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrstater.livejournal.com
Oh yes, definitely! He wasn't, "Oh woe is me, I'm a werewolf and how can I possibly do this job." He was just a first time teacher at the school he'd attended. Really, he's perfect. And yummy, if that helps. ;)

Date: 2007-05-15 04:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jncar.livejournal.com
This is just lovely! I really like how you mixed his happiness over his new position with his uncertainty at how well he would do. And the little touches of melancholy in his memories is perfectly balanced with the humor in them, and of course the final joke. :D I love the idea of Minerva pranking him - I think its perfectly in character for her. Ad I also liked getting a behind-the-scenes look at how the teachers relate to each other.

Thanks for sharing another enjoyable story.

Date: 2007-05-16 03:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shimotsuki.livejournal.com
Thanks, I'm glad you liked it! I think you're right about Minerva -- I suspect she always had a soft spot for the Marauders, and so I suspect she may have been a bit of a prankster herself once upon a time.

Date: 2007-05-15 10:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jdbracknell.livejournal.com
Oh wow, this is so wonderful!

I thought you pegged Remus just right, his slight disbelief that he's in this situation at all, and then the deeper undercurrent that he's over the moon to be in a place where people know exactly what and who he is, and accept him without question. I wonder how often he's had that - and these are people whose good opinion would matter to him, and I thought you conveyed that so well.

I really loved the idea of Remus testing his painful memories, too, seeing, really, how much he can take.

I thought you handeled the supoprting cast of teachers and student incredibly deftly, too. Ernie MacMillan using big words he doesn't know the meaning of, and the Weasley twins charming their own homework and it being a source of delight and amusement from their teachers just seemed so perfectly in character. And I loved Minerva's prank on Remus - the perfect way to make him feel at home, one suspects, and a lovely book end for the story at the begining about him sneaking in to lay the same trap for his unfortunate educators.

I thoroughly enjoyed this, so thank you very, very much for writing it for me :D.

Date: 2007-05-16 04:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shimotsuki.livejournal.com
Oh, hooray, I'm really glad to hear that you liked it! And thanks for the comments -- you picked up on a bunch of things that I was going for with this.

Starting and ending with the firework prank was the original plotbunny, and then I thought of having the teachers gossip about various students. But I found I couldn't write about the beginning of Remus's PoA year without addresing the problem of him having to come to terms with his past. This is something I've wondered about for a long time: wouldn't it have been hard for Remus to go back to Hogwarts? I've decided on a backstory where his strategy for the past twelve years has been to try not to think about the Marauders, ever. But obviously he can't keep that up when he's back at the school, so he has to confront his memories. And he finally discovers, after years of avoiding this, that remembering the happy times is not so painful after all. (But he still can't bring himself to think about what happened when it all went wrong.)

I really enjoyed writing this story. Thanks for choosing me for your prize fic, and for giving me such a fun scenario to write.

Date: 2007-05-16 10:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bratanimus.livejournal.com
I adore this!!

The idea of Minerva remembering who, exactly, was responsible for the fireworks and then springing them on him 20 years later was brilliant, and quite in her character, I think! ;)

I really love your characterization of Remus in this, especially, as [livejournal.com profile] ladybracknell said, his testing of his sore spots to see how much they still smart. Particularly liked It was all right to snigger at that Sirius, the one who was just a boy, one of his best friends. Remus only felt sick to his stomach when he thought of the other Sirius, the one who—No. *shiver* And the little glimpses into his awe at being "one of them" at last: I never thought I'd be able to sit in a room with this many people all knowing what I am and no one fleeing or screaming. Wonderful.

I also adored how connected to the students the faculty are. Sure, they snicker at funny stories amongst themselves, but they also possess a great affection for the students (the gleeful anticipation of the Twins' prank, the concern for Ginny after the diary, etc.). Just fabulous.

A wonderful snapshot into the private lives of this group of people, and especially Remus. Loved it! :D

Date: 2007-05-17 05:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shimotsuki.livejournal.com
Thanks so much for the encouraging comments; I'm really glad to hear you liked the story. I figure, if these teachers are practically living with the students for seven long years, they probably get to know them pretty well. (Well, maybe not Binns. ;) )

Date: 2007-05-17 11:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] katyhasclogs.livejournal.com
This was a pleasure to read; funny and poignant at the same time.

I especially liked how the teachers don't think of Neville as hopeless as he comes accross in the books. I also liked how Flitwick seems particularly fond of the twins - fits in nicely with the bit of canon about Flitwick keeping part of the swamp in the corridor.

The part where Remus checks through the essays to see if everyone's misunderstood is very realistic I think. I know its the kind of thing my mum does when she's marking. A good teacher tends to think it's their fault when pupils don't understand and Remus is definitely a good teacher.

Date: 2007-05-17 11:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] katyhasclogs.livejournal.com
By the way, do you mind if I friend you?

Date: 2007-05-17 06:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shimotsuki.livejournal.com
Thanks so much for reading and commenting! I would be delighted if you friended me, and I hope you don't mind if I friend you back.

I was actually marking (or grading, as we say in the US) final exams and term papers when I was writing this story, so I channeled some of my RL frustration (and insecurity) into the teachers' comments. (Ernie Macmillan lives. But I also do what your mum does about double-checking the errors...)

As for Neville, we know Snape doesn't think much of him. But Sprout does, and even McGonagall, while she won't let him into her N.E.W.T.-level Transfiguration class, praises his work in Charms. So I thought it would make sense if even in his early years he wasn't totally hopeless.

Date: 2007-05-18 08:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gilpin25.livejournal.com
I've been looking forward to reading this and it's been the treat I expected.

As usual, it's the characterisation that gives the magic and the charm (no puns intended; well, perhaps just a little;)) to your stories. I thought Remus was perfect here with his understandable jitters (quite how you suddenly cope with being a colleague of someone who once taught you and probably gave you a detention is anyone's guess), which encompass whether he's doing a good job, coping with the memories of the past and coming to terms with the present. I loved how the Hufflepuff girls are grinning and smiling at him (nice nod to Tonks and all his fangirls, lol), so that we know he's already popular and doing a good job, yet all he can think is that he can't dither outside the staff room any more.

It's also great to see the characters through the eyes of the teachers for once instead of that Harry Potter. How they relish the twins, Ernie and his big words he doesn't understand, as well as the guilt and worry about Ginny. It's all lovely little throwaway lines and brings it very much to life by tying it in with the books.

The prank works perfectly; not only in that it's Minerva who does it but that it really brings home to Remus that he is one of them and accepted in every sense of the word. And we know how much that means to him.

This is absolutely lovely; I enjoyed every word. And I don't know why you were worried about writing humour as it comes across as both wry and gentle, with a tinge of sadness at times. Which was just what was needed. :)

Date: 2007-05-21 12:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shimotsuki.livejournal.com
Thank you so much for the encouraging review -- I'm especially happy that you thought the humor aspects came through all right. Many of the metamorfic_moon crowd, definitely including you, do such a lovely job interweaving humor with melancholy, angst, or suspense that I've been inspired to work on that myself.

I'm also chuffed that you caught that bit about the Hufflepuff fangirls. ;) Although I'm sure it would have been the same for any House, not necessarily excluding Slytherin...

I'm just very happy to hear that you liked this!

Fantastic!

Date: 2007-09-10 11:44 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
I've been reading all your RLNT and RL fiction and must say that this is the best so far. The characterization of Remus is beautiful and it's wonderful to get a 'peek' into the staffroom. Please keep writing!

SN

Re: Fantastic!

Date: 2007-09-11 03:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shimotsuki.livejournal.com
Thank you for the kind words! I've still got a lot of stories in my head, so I hope to keep writing fanfiction for a while, anyway.
(deleted comment)

Date: 2009-08-02 04:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shimotsuki.livejournal.com
Thank you so much for reading, and for taking the time to leave such a kind comment!

I hope you have a nice time on your holiday. :)

Date: 2009-10-23 09:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zia-montrose.livejournal.com
I rec'd this over at [livejournal.com profile] accio_marauders , where there's a post up for nominating favorite Marauder fics.   A few of yours came to mind, but this one was easy to categorize.  Just thought you should know.

Date: 2009-10-23 10:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shimotsuki.livejournal.com
Aw, thank you very much!!

And that looks like a great comm. I will have to check it out.

Date: 2010-07-14 02:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ladylapislazuli.livejournal.com
That was wonderful! :D

Date: 2010-07-14 04:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shimotsuki.livejournal.com
Thank you, and thanks so much for letting me know you enjoyed it! :)

Nostalgia

Date: 2010-09-09 07:53 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Lovely, I actually thought that the ending was extremely sad in a nostalgic sort of way. To me, Remus, looks around for the pranksters, but they are all dead or gone.
-Nati

Re: Nostalgia

Date: 2010-09-10 03:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shimotsuki.livejournal.com
I think your interpretation makes a lot of sense. So much of Remus's life must be filled with nostalgia for the things and people he has lost

Thanks for reading!

Date: 2012-01-29 06:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hooves.livejournal.com
Oh man, I love this story. Now, when I was in school (seems like forever ago), the "staff rooms" were really the "copier rooms", and as a teacher aid my last few years of school, I got to go there quite often with ~special permission. There was something really ODD about being in there, too. Really...different. Especially during holidays when there were always cookies and stuff and I could help myself. (Though I almost felt like a thief. All the peanut brittle is MINE!)

That said, I love how it's so weird for him to call the other professors by their first names (I can vouch for that being awkward on every occasion I've had to do it) and of course, the best part was the ending. Busted, Professor Lupin. ;P

Date: 2012-01-31 02:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shimotsuki.livejournal.com
Aw, thanks! So glad you liked this. It's hard enough being a new teacher and worrying about being able to keep your lessons going -- I can't imagine trying to do it when surrounded by people who used to be your teachers.

And I totally see McGonagall as a secret Marauder fan, even though she probably had to give them detention a lot! ;)

Date: 2013-01-03 12:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] teal waxelbaum (from livejournal.com)
Minerva for the win. That is all.

Date: 2013-01-03 06:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shimotsuki.livejournal.com
There should be more Minerva fic!

Thanks for reading. :)

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