[Meme] Mary Sue me
January 29th, 2008 10:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shimotsukiIf anyone's wondering why I'm still behind with my reading at ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
metamorfic_moon, late with f-list comments, and making no progress on the Great Arthur-Percy Row Scene for "All Will Be in Order," you can blame it all on ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
bratanimus for tagging me for what has to be the most fun meme I've ever seen:
Make yourself a Mary Sue in the Harry Potter universe and describe your perfectly perfect cliche-self, embracing the long, proud tradition of self-insertion and Mary-Sueism. Then tag five people on your friends list to do the same.
Harry Potter and the Seer of Salem
No one ever thought to tell Harry that his mother once had an American pen-friend. Or that said pen-friend was a Seer -- not like poor Trelawney, bless her batty little heart, but a real Seer who had visions and premonitions and prophetic dreams at least three times a week.
Emily Gladstone, now professor of Ancient Runes at the Salem Witches' Academy, had had a supremely plausible, absolutely unavoidable reason for failing to cross the Atlantic and help fight the first war against Voldemort. But after Lily was murdered, the sadness never completely left her fathomless grey-green eyes behind the thick, coal-black lashes. And so, one soft May morning, when she woke from a vivid dream of the events that were to take place in exactly one year's time, she lost not a moment before setting a complex, intricate, and perfectly conceived plan in motion.
She contacted Albus Dumbledore (poor man, not long for this world) and arranged a faculty exchange -- she would change places for one year with the Ancient Runes professor at Hogwarts (who happened to be a Muggleborn and wouldn't realize, at first, just how lucky he was to be visiting Salem). By the time she arrived at the school in September, the Death Eaters had taken over, and wizarding Britain was a shambles. Fortunately, Emily was of impeccable pureblood lineage, and she flirted with that disgusting Amycus Carrow just enough to stay on his good side and keep him out of her way.
The year passed quickly. Emily's credentials as Lily's friend were her entree into the Order of the Phoenix, where she was delighted to meet the Remus Lupin that she'd heard so much about -- and devastated to learn that he was already married and expecting a child. She was a regular on Potterwatch (as "Ravishing"), and became heavily involved in the Order's quixotic campaign to save Muggleborns. Back at Hogwarts, all her students adored her and worked ridiculously hard on their homework (which was charmed to mark itself, thereby freeing up valuable time for Emily's work with the Order). She became Minerva McGonagall's desperately needed confidante. And she even sent rather good Honeydukes chocolate anonymously through the Floo into Severus Snape's chambers from time to time. After all, Lily had written her all about "Sev," and Emily's Inner Eye showed her what he was really up to. The poor man was not having a good year.
Finally, the day from Emily's prophetic dream arrived. Sweeping her flowing chestnut curls up into an elegant French knot and slipping her own Invisibility Cloak into her pocket, she was ready.
The first thing she did that night was to run down to the gates of Hogwarts and Apparate to a small cosy house by a pond, where Tonks Lupin was just kissing her infant son goodbye. "Listen to me!" Emily bellowed, grasping Tonks by her robes and shaking them. "LISTEN! I don't care how worried you are about Remus, I don't care that you're a former Auror, and I don't even care if that monster Bellatrix sends you a threatening owl to draw you out of hiding. You just GAVE BIRTH less than a MONTH ago. You STAY HOME tonight -- if you ever want to see your husband and child again!"
In the face of Emily's magnetic charisma, even feisty, determined Tonks could only stand there with her jaw hanging open and nod obediently.
Emily sped back to Hogwarts. There was no time to waste. As the castle emptied of students and filled with Order members and Death Eaters, she pelted through the corridors, skidding to a halt just as Percy Weasley felled Minister Thicknesse with a highly amusing jinx. "Run!" she shouted, not even stopping to watch as Harry, Hermione, and several Weasleys fled the corridor barely ahead of a dreadful explosion.
Whipping her Invisibility Cloak over her head, Emily flitted unseen through the battle, hexing Death Eaters left and right -- and even bringing down a couple of giants who were unlucky enough to cross her path. She dropped Dolohov like a stone just as he was taking aim at Remus.
Then, as Voldemort's voice filled the air, she sprinted down to the Whomping Willow, froze the thrashing branches, and dashed through the tunnel to the Shrieking Shack, where Severus lay glassy-eyed and bleeding. She tipped several vials of Blood-Replenishing Potion down his throat, followed by a dose of Pye-Weasley Brand Giant Snake Antivenom (tm).
Severus's eyes flickered open. He groaned when he saw Emily's face, daintly flushed with exertion, hovering over him. "Leave me alone," he croaked. "Let me die in peace."
"Don't be ridiculous!" Emily retorted. "In another hour the battle will be over, and you'll be one of the greatest heroes of the war! Order of Merlin, First Class!" She fixed him with a steely glare. "Would Lily have wanted you to throw your life away?"
He closed his eyes and shuddered, but his hand found hers, and he clung.
Emily stayed in the Shack with Severus until the battle was over. She knew that Harry had everything he needed to finish things on his own. And, really, Severus wasn't half bad-looking. In fact, he reminded her a little bit of Alan Rickman. Remus would've been her first choice, but he was obviously taken, and there was a lot to be said for Severus's brand of acerbic humour. She would have to see about some new shampoo, though.
Emily smiled, her grey-green eyes as light as the sea after a storm. "I'll look after him, Lily. I'll keep an eye on Remus and Harry too, of course." And all was well.
I hereby tag (apologies if you've already been tagged, and feel free to ignore this if it's not your cup of tea):gilpin25, jncar, mrstater, wildmagelet, hrymfaxe, and eltea.
.
metamorfic_moon, late with f-list comments, and making no progress on the Great Arthur-Percy Row Scene for "All Will Be in Order," you can blame it all on bratanimus for tagging me for what has to be the most fun meme I've ever seen:Make yourself a Mary Sue in the Harry Potter universe and describe your perfectly perfect cliche-self, embracing the long, proud tradition of self-insertion and Mary-Sueism. Then tag five people on your friends list to do the same.
No one ever thought to tell Harry that his mother once had an American pen-friend. Or that said pen-friend was a Seer -- not like poor Trelawney, bless her batty little heart, but a real Seer who had visions and premonitions and prophetic dreams at least three times a week.
Emily Gladstone, now professor of Ancient Runes at the Salem Witches' Academy, had had a supremely plausible, absolutely unavoidable reason for failing to cross the Atlantic and help fight the first war against Voldemort. But after Lily was murdered, the sadness never completely left her fathomless grey-green eyes behind the thick, coal-black lashes. And so, one soft May morning, when she woke from a vivid dream of the events that were to take place in exactly one year's time, she lost not a moment before setting a complex, intricate, and perfectly conceived plan in motion.
She contacted Albus Dumbledore (poor man, not long for this world) and arranged a faculty exchange -- she would change places for one year with the Ancient Runes professor at Hogwarts (who happened to be a Muggleborn and wouldn't realize, at first, just how lucky he was to be visiting Salem). By the time she arrived at the school in September, the Death Eaters had taken over, and wizarding Britain was a shambles. Fortunately, Emily was of impeccable pureblood lineage, and she flirted with that disgusting Amycus Carrow just enough to stay on his good side and keep him out of her way.
The year passed quickly. Emily's credentials as Lily's friend were her entree into the Order of the Phoenix, where she was delighted to meet the Remus Lupin that she'd heard so much about -- and devastated to learn that he was already married and expecting a child. She was a regular on Potterwatch (as "Ravishing"), and became heavily involved in the Order's quixotic campaign to save Muggleborns. Back at Hogwarts, all her students adored her and worked ridiculously hard on their homework (which was charmed to mark itself, thereby freeing up valuable time for Emily's work with the Order). She became Minerva McGonagall's desperately needed confidante. And she even sent rather good Honeydukes chocolate anonymously through the Floo into Severus Snape's chambers from time to time. After all, Lily had written her all about "Sev," and Emily's Inner Eye showed her what he was really up to. The poor man was not having a good year.
Finally, the day from Emily's prophetic dream arrived. Sweeping her flowing chestnut curls up into an elegant French knot and slipping her own Invisibility Cloak into her pocket, she was ready.
The first thing she did that night was to run down to the gates of Hogwarts and Apparate to a small cosy house by a pond, where Tonks Lupin was just kissing her infant son goodbye. "Listen to me!" Emily bellowed, grasping Tonks by her robes and shaking them. "LISTEN! I don't care how worried you are about Remus, I don't care that you're a former Auror, and I don't even care if that monster Bellatrix sends you a threatening owl to draw you out of hiding. You just GAVE BIRTH less than a MONTH ago. You STAY HOME tonight -- if you ever want to see your husband and child again!"
In the face of Emily's magnetic charisma, even feisty, determined Tonks could only stand there with her jaw hanging open and nod obediently.
Emily sped back to Hogwarts. There was no time to waste. As the castle emptied of students and filled with Order members and Death Eaters, she pelted through the corridors, skidding to a halt just as Percy Weasley felled Minister Thicknesse with a highly amusing jinx. "Run!" she shouted, not even stopping to watch as Harry, Hermione, and several Weasleys fled the corridor barely ahead of a dreadful explosion.
Whipping her Invisibility Cloak over her head, Emily flitted unseen through the battle, hexing Death Eaters left and right -- and even bringing down a couple of giants who were unlucky enough to cross her path. She dropped Dolohov like a stone just as he was taking aim at Remus.
Then, as Voldemort's voice filled the air, she sprinted down to the Whomping Willow, froze the thrashing branches, and dashed through the tunnel to the Shrieking Shack, where Severus lay glassy-eyed and bleeding. She tipped several vials of Blood-Replenishing Potion down his throat, followed by a dose of Pye-Weasley Brand Giant Snake Antivenom (tm).
Severus's eyes flickered open. He groaned when he saw Emily's face, daintly flushed with exertion, hovering over him. "Leave me alone," he croaked. "Let me die in peace."
"Don't be ridiculous!" Emily retorted. "In another hour the battle will be over, and you'll be one of the greatest heroes of the war! Order of Merlin, First Class!" She fixed him with a steely glare. "Would Lily have wanted you to throw your life away?"
He closed his eyes and shuddered, but his hand found hers, and he clung.
Emily stayed in the Shack with Severus until the battle was over. She knew that Harry had everything he needed to finish things on his own. And, really, Severus wasn't half bad-looking. In fact, he reminded her a little bit of Alan Rickman. Remus would've been her first choice, but he was obviously taken, and there was a lot to be said for Severus's brand of acerbic humour. She would have to see about some new shampoo, though.
Emily smiled, her grey-green eyes as light as the sea after a storm. "I'll look after him, Lily. I'll keep an eye on Remus and Harry too, of course." And all was well.
I hereby tag (apologies if you've already been tagged, and feel free to ignore this if it's not your cup of tea):
gilpin25, jncar, mrstater, wildmagelet, hrymfaxe, and eltea..
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-01-30 03:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-30 05:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-31 11:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-30 05:09 am (UTC)*snicker*
no subject
Date: 2008-01-30 05:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-30 06:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-31 02:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-30 09:19 am (UTC)You should Sue more often. I loved it. Emily being Lily's friend, the classic "exchange" plot, the whole Saving Characters thing .... ugh! Amazing.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-31 02:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-30 10:07 am (UTC)I wondered if anyone would go the mysterious stranger from Salem who knows everyone and has all the answers route :D.
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Date: 2008-01-31 02:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-30 11:02 am (UTC)Great read over breakfast, even though I did have trouble not choking at the Pye-Weasley Antivenom.
Will go finish mine, though I don't think my Mary Sue is a patch on Emily, lol.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-31 02:24 am (UTC)Honestly -- as a Snape-fan I know pointed out -- wouldn't you think Snape the Potions Master would have Nagini-antidote on him at all times, after what happened to Arthur?
I look forward to your Sueing!
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Date: 2008-01-30 11:43 am (UTC)*snort* ROTFL :D
And you've got the descriptors DOWN PAT: her fathomless grey-green eyes behind the thick, coal-black lashes. . Brilliant. ;)
The premonitions! The chocolate! The invisibility cloak! The AU-ness! The trademarks! The clinging! The celebrity lookalikes! The unsinkable R/T ship! The all was well-ness! ROTFLMAO!!!!
*sigh*
I'd totally read the long version. Ah, if only it could have been like this. Thanks for doing this meme! :D
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Date: 2008-01-31 02:27 am (UTC)I think my most blatant self-insertion here was the self-marking homework papers. I so WANT that. :)
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Date: 2008-01-31 12:20 pm (UTC)I love it!! If I were a prof, that's the magical ability I'd want. :D
I realized that the only self-insertion I managed was the fact that I'd SO do Sirius and Remus on alternate nights, lol. Well, at least I'd like to imagine that I would. ;) That and the fact that I used to live as a crossdresser. (Kidding.)
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Date: 2008-01-30 01:45 pm (UTC)Drat you tagging me. I'd hoped to escape this one. ;)
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Date: 2008-01-31 02:30 am (UTC)(And if the Order weren't out saving Muggleborns, what the heck were they doing for that entire year?!?)
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Date: 2008-01-31 02:32 am (UTC)(And if the Order weren't out saving Muggleborns, what the heck were they doing for that entire year?!?)
Amen!
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Date: 2008-01-31 12:44 am (UTC)I loved this:
Finally, the day from Emily's prophetic dream arrived. Sweeping her flowing chestnut curls up into an elegant French knot and slipping her own Invisibility Cloak into her pocket, she was ready.
Because you have to have perfect hair when fighting the Dark Lord, right?
But this made me laugh the hardest:
And, really, Severus wasn't half bad-looking. In fact, he reminded her a little bit of Alan Rickman. Remus would've been her first choice, but he was obviously taken, and there was a lot to be said for Severus's brand of acerbic humour. She would have to see about some new shampoo, though.
Just brilliant, I even like her!
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Date: 2008-01-31 02:36 am (UTC)Of course you have to have perfect hair. :P That's why Harry, and Hermione too, weren't able to fix everything the way Emily was.
That last bit was based on my personal theory that most people who ship Snape with, well, anybody seem to be writing him based on movie Snape more than book-canon Snape. (Not that I'm dissing Snape-fic -- some of it I like. But I still say it's movie Snape.)
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Date: 2008-01-31 08:34 am (UTC)Oh absolutely. Same with Draco I reckon.
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Date: 2008-01-31 10:04 pm (UTC)If only someone had saved Tonks and Remus. We could have used you--I mean, Emily--in that last battle!
In fact, he reminded her a little bit of Alan Rickman
You caught me off guard; I think I hurt myself laughing when I read that!
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Date: 2008-02-01 05:13 am (UTC)Someone definitely needed to save Tonks and Remus. (sigh)