["Kaleidoscope" update] Breaking Point

[shimotsuki]

Believe it or not, this fic was originally inspired by the last rt_challenge ficathon, back in March (although I've forgotten what prompt it was supposed to be for). I've been working on it off-and-on ever since. Tonight, I decided to celebrate the end of a nastily busy work week by hauling it out and polishing it up to post.

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Title: Breaking Point
Author: shimotsuki
Word Count: 2821 words
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Torture (but no more graphic than the graveyard scene in GoF); mild profanity

Summary: In the dark hours after Bill and Fleur's wedding, Andromeda begins to think a little better of her own new son-in-law. But even an Order veteran who can stand up to a Death Eater's Cruciatus Curse has his limits.

Author's notes: Many thanks to tegdoh, mrstater, gilpin25, jncar, and katyhasclogs for discussions about canon timeline and character motivations that directly or indirectly influenced my approach to this story.

Breaking Point
Andromeda lay crumpled on the living-room floor, her limbs shaking uncontrollably. Every nerve shrieked as her body tried to recover from the sustained Cruciatus, but listening helplessly to Ted's strangled yells was no less agonising.

"Crucio!" shouted the rough, cruel voice yet again.

Ted screamed. Andromeda sobbed.

"Where did Potter go, you Mudblood filth? You will tell me! Where?"

She didn't recognize the Death Eater behind the white mask, but it was a man—so at least she knew that it wasn't Bella.

"I...don't...know!" Ted ground out, and then he screamed again. Andromeda bit down on her tongue to keep from crying out his name and giving the intruders reason to prolong his torment.

"Enough," warned the second Death Eater, the one illuminating the room with his wand. "You know we mustn't kill them, or break their stubborn little minds." He chuckled, an evil sound that crawled up Andromeda's spine. "Not yet." He prodded Ted with the toe of his boot. "Potter may come to them again."

"Nothing more to do here, then," said the rough-voiced Death Eater, sounding disappointed. "Might as well—"

There was a soft knock at the front door, and then the sound of the locks turning.

Andromeda's heart stopped.

"Nox." The second man's voice was oily with anticipation as he plunged the living room back into darkness.

Andromeda retched in terror, even though her stomach was empty. Not my little girl, please no, please no...

The door creaked open.

"Death Eaters!" she cried desperately, but her words were nothing but a faint croak, and their captor's Stupefy was faster. She saw the bolt of light blaze right through the centre of the open doorway—

—and dissipate harmlessly into the night air.

"What the hell?" The first Death Eater advanced toward the door with his wand drawn.

"Incarcero!" came a hoarse shout from outside. Not Nymphadora's voice—Lupin. The Death Eater toppled to the floor as ropes snaked around him and bound him from head to foot.

The remaining intruder snarled and slashed at the air with his wand, firing curses through the doorway, but spells flew back into the house just as fast. A china vase on the mantlepiece shattered. The aspidistra, repotted after its recent encounter with Hagrid, hurtled across the room. Finally, with a wordless shout of rage, the Death Eater grabbed his companion by one foot and Disapparated.

They were gone.

Andromeda took several gasping breaths in the sudden silence.

"Ted?" She could see her husband's huddled form from where she lay, sprawled on her stomach, but the feeble glow from the street light outside wasn't enough to let her see his face. She scrabbled frantically, trying to push herself up on her hands and knees, but her shaking body would not support itself, and she collapsed again.

"Dromeda—we're all right, girl. It's over."

Ted's voice was weaker than hers, but he was conscious. Alive. The pain that stabbed at her body remained, but her panic began to fade.

The front door closed quietly, locks clicking into place. A lamp came on, and Andromeda squinted against the sudden brightness.

"Dora?" Ted rasped.

Andromeda looked up in time to see Lupin shaking his head. A small cut over one eye was bleeding slightly, but otherwise he seemed to have come through the duel unscathed. "Nymphadora is still at the Burrow—she's fine," he added quickly, when Andromeda's eyes widened in a fresh surge of panic. "I only came ahead so that I could warn you." His mouth pressed into a thin line. "We thought they might come here, since you helped the Order move Harry, but we didn't think they would act so quickly."

Andromeda tried again to push herself up from the floor, but her muscles were not ready to obey. Lupin came and knelt beside her, looking concerned. "Hold still, just for a moment. This will help." He leaned over and ran his hands firmly down her back, and then along each arm and leg. At first she flinched at the prospect of being touched at all, but somehow, miraculously, it was the right thing—the warm, steady, normal touch of a hand helped dispel most of the internal agony from the Cruciatus.

He knows what to do, she understood suddenly. He's seen this before.

With Lupin gently supporting her, she managed to sit up, leaning back against the base of the sofa. He gave her a swift, relieved smile before turning to look after Ted.

Once Ted was upright too, propped against the ottoman a few feet away, Lupin got slowly to his feet. Andromeda thought he looked a little unsteady himself. Maybe that Death Eater had landed a blow or two after all.

Lupin drew a deep breath, closed his eyes for a moment, and produced a Patronus. "Dora," he told it, "they did find your parents, but they've been and gone, and everyone's safe. Don't rush home—take your time." In a flash of silver, the Patronus vanished, and he produced another, a little more easily. "Poppy, please add Ted and Andromeda Tonks to your list. Not an emergency."

Then he started toward the kitchen. "I'm going to make some tea." His voice was still quite hoarse. "Poppy Pomfrey should be here soon—she's checking on everyone the Death Eaters have tortured."

Andromeda shuddered. "So it wasn't only us."

"No," said Lupin grimly. "They've been busy tonight, looking for Harry." He rounded the corner out of sight.

Ted hitched himself stiffly across the floor until he was sitting against the sofa beside her. She reached up and touched his face, and he grinned, crookedly. He pressed his shoulder against hers, and she leaned back into him, feeling stronger.

Their son-in-law returned with a tray bearing three steaming cups of tea, handing one to each of them with an encouraging smile before joining them politely on the floor with his own cup. Andromeda watched him, secretly fascinated. This Lupin, veteran member of the Order of the Phoenix, was a completely different person from the glum sullen shadow who had moved into their house only days before. Tonight he was once again the quietly warm, capable man her daughter had brought home for dinner once—before all hell broke loose at the Ministry and Nymphadora ran off and married him.

And lost her job, and her flat, for the privilege.

Just then the locks rattled, and the front door opened again to reveal Nymphadora herself, with her lovely ice-blue dress robes in disarray and her hair hanging plain and brown.

"Mum—Dad—are you all right?"

"We're fine, love," said Andromeda, as briskly as she could from her undignified position on the floor. "All's well that ends well."

"Come on inside and close the door," Ted added, pushing himself up to sit on the sofa and giving Andromeda a hand up too.

Nymphadora locked the door carefully behind her, but before she could come any closer, Lupin was on his feet with his wand raised—although, Andromeda noticed, he didn't actually aim it.

"To what song did we first dance tonight?"

A watery smile played across her face. "‘You Cast Your Spell And I Was Stunned.' Celestina at her worst."

Lupin shoved his wand into his pocket and practically flew across the room, pulling her into his arms. "Dora."

Andromeda's eyes softened. Lupin was always so reserved, at least in front of her and Ted. It was nice to have a visible sign that he really did love her daughter.

"Shhh." Nymphadora ran her hands over his back. "Everyone's okay."

He released her and backed away far enough to look her up and down, although he kept hold of her hands. "Are you really all right? I didn't expect you to be able to Apparate this soon."

She flushed. "I'm fine now. I don't know what happened—I'm usually quite good at Cruciatus resistance. I have no idea why I needed so much time to recover."

Andromeda felt the blood drain from her face. "They tortured you too?"

"Mum," said Nymphadora, softly, "I've trained to fight Dark wizards, you know. I can handle it." She sighed. "I was more worried about some of the others, especially Arthur and Molly, and Ginny. And Remus." She slid an arm around his waist, and his arm went around her in response, his thumb sketching tiny circles on her shoulder as she nestled against him. "He and Arthur got the worst of it, as the ones most likely to know where Harry might be." Then she turned toward her husband and touched a finger to his forehead, just above the cut over his eye. "But that happened here."

Lupin shrugged. "There was a bit of a duel, and an urn in the garden got smashed—that's all." Their gazes locked; Nymphadora's was full of concern, and Lupin's was steadfastly reassuring.

Andromeda might almost have chuckled, if she hadn't been so sore (and if she hadn't been raised a Black). Death Eaters were torturing innocent people and the Boy Who Lived had gone missing, and it was Nymphadora's werewolf who was emerging as some kind of anchor of sanity.

She almost thought she could understand what her daughter saw in him.

"Where is the Potter boy?" Ted asked, puzzled, and Nymphadora and Lupin broke eye contact to turn back to him. "I'd guessed he was going to be at the wedding with you lot!"

"Ted." Andromeda's voice was sharper than she had meant it to be. "Are you sure we want to know where he is?"

Lupin laughed ruefully. "No matter—none of us does know. Harry and his friends Ron—that's the youngest Weasley boy—and Hermione were at the wedding, but they Apparated away just as the Death Eaters arrived."

"We're pretty sure Dumbledore left Harry with some kind of mission," Nymphadora put in. "Arthur's known for a while that the three of them were planning to set off somewhere. But we have no idea what they're trying to do."

"I'd hoped to have a talk with them before they left." Lupin's expression was grim again. "There may be things the Order can do to help, even if Harry can't tell us what his mission is."

He exchanged another long look with Nymphadora. "I spoke to Molly and Arthur before I left the Burrow," he told her quietly. "I said I'd check the Shrieking Shack, and the cave outside Hogsmeade, and Grimmauld Place, in case they're hiding out somewhere familiar."

"I'll go with you," said Nymphadora at once. "Or we can split up and cover the ground twice as fast."

Lupin hesitated, darting a glance at Andromeda and Ted before replying. "It might be a good thing for your parents to have an Auror here just now."

Nymphadora frowned, looking thoughtful, but then she nodded.

Just then, a cloud of silver poured in under the front door and took the shape of a large St. Bernard. "I'm here," it said in Poppy Pomfrey's voice. Andromeda and Ted both managed to stand, shakily, but it was Lupin who went to open the door, greeting the matron with a wide affectionate smile.

In no time at all, Madam Pomfrey had Andromeda sitting on the sofa and Ted in the armchair, and was deluging them with one diagnostic spell after another. "Hrmph," she muttered, finally. "No lasting harm done, thank goodness." She handed each of them a small vial of cherry-coloured liquid. "Drink this—it should take care of any tremors you're still experiencing."

"Could you have a look at Dora and Remus too?" Ted's voice had stopped shaking. "It sounds like they've had an eventful evening themselves." Andromeda reached across and took his hand, and he squeezed hers gently.

"Remus first," said Nymphadora at once.

Lupin started to protest, but Madam Pomfrey already had his arm in a firm grip. "I've been wanting to have a good look at you, young man, ever since you came back from that godforsaken mission of yours. Now hold still." She healed the cut over his eyebrow with a swift flick of her wand.

Nymphadora settled onto the sofa next to Andromeda as the matron set to work examining Lupin. "It was just awful tonight, Mum. The Death Eater who had Remus under Cruciatus went on for the longest time." Andromeda saw her daughter's eyes shine with pride and respect. "Remus didn't make a sound, though. Not even once."

Lupin, looking sheepish, gave a shrug, which made Madam Pomfrey cluck disapprovingly and start a diagnostic spell over again. "I didn't want to give them the satisfaction," he said quietly.

Andromeda now had first-hand knowledge of just how thoroughly the Cruciatus Curse made one want to scream. Things that Nymphadora had told her about the ordeal of Lupin's monthly transformations poked at her memory. This man, for all that he looked so peaky, was strong.

"Well," said Madam Pomfrey, fishing in her pockets, "a bit of this should have you more or less recovered from the Cruciatus." She handed Lupin another vial of the red liquid and watched him swallow it. "But I'm not at all impressed with your overall health." She frowned at him, looking almost angry. "You've been back for more than a month now, but you're still undernourished." She handed him three more vials, filled with liquids of different colours. "Vitamin potions," she explained brusquely. "Drink."

Lupin downed the potions, one after the other, his gaze fixed on the floor. Andromeda watched his face close in on itself again. The capable soldier from Dumbledore's Order was gone, leaving the sullen silent houseguest in his place once more.

Except—was that really sulkiness? Or was it simply shame burning dully in his eyes? Andromeda suddenly thought of how galling it had been, when she and Ted ran off together with less than nothing between them, to have to accept help from old Mrs. Tonks, as gracious as she was about offering it.

Lupin handed the empty vials back to Madam Pomfrey, but he still wouldn't meet anyone's gaze. The matron sighed. "I don't know what you're playing at, Remus, but you won't be doing the Order any favours if you collapse."

"I don't have a job, Poppy." He crossed his arms over his chest without looking up. "In my situation, certain economies become necessary."

"Oh, Remus." Nymphadora's face was white and strained. "I'd been wondering."

Andromeda hadn't been, and now she felt a flare of guilt for her easy assumptions. I prefer toast for breakfast, he had said, in that mild polite voice of his. No thank you; I don't generally eat lunch. One piece of toast and a small portion of supper each day—and she'd simply shrugged and put it down to werewolf metabolism.

"There is a difference," snapped Madam Pomfrey, "between being stoic and being stupid."

Lupin said nothing.

The matron glared at him for a moment, but he refused to look up, and after a moment she sighed and turned to Nymphadora. "Now you, Miss Tonks."

Andromeda smiled inwardly in spite of herself. Madam Pomfrey always did have a terrible time with the married names of her former students. Andromeda had been "Miss Black" until about the time that Nymphadora had started at Hogwarts.

Nymphadora stood obediently and held her arms out to her sides. Madam Pomfrey began her diagnostic spells again. But then she lowered her wand, abruptly, and went quite pale. "You were under Cruciatus tonight?" she asked, her voice sharp.

"Yes," said Nymphadora, looking puzzled, "but it wasn't the first time—it's not a big deal. I had a little trouble Apparating at first, but I feel fine now."

"It's no wonder you had trouble with Apparition!" Madam Pomfrey's face was dark and angry again. "Cruciatus, in your condition! At least it seems there was no damage; that's a real stroke of luck."

Her condition. The matron's words took Andromeda's breath away. As if in slow motion, she saw Nymphadora frown and knit her eyebrows, tilting her head, waiting for elaboration. So this was news to everyone—even now, Nymphadora didn't understand what Madam Pomfrey had meant.

But Lupin clearly did.

From where Andromeda sat, she had a perfect view of him over Nymphadora's shoulder. The first thing that crossed his face was a mixture of joy and awe—a light in his eyes so bright it brought a lump to her throat.

But then he tensed, and the light faded.

Lupin's face twisted into the stiff, closed mask that Andromeda found so unsettling. She could almost feel him pull back inside himself as he turned away, hiding from Nymphadora.

Hiding from all of them.

He could face a Death Eater's Cruciatus without flinching, but he couldn't look his pregnant wife or her parents in the eye.

If you break my daughter's heart—

Andromeda found that she was clenching her fists.

—I will wring your neck with my bare hands.

. * fin * .

This story does end on a bit of a dark note, so if you'd like to see things look more hopeful again, try the follow-up, All That I Am.

"Kaleidoscope" series index

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Comments

[katyhasclogs.livejournal.com]

Oh dear, that was cheerful! ;)

Seriously though, I loved it. This particular bit of DH has always been a bit confusing to me (why didn't the Death Eaters just kill them all?) and I've always struggled to decide quite what Ted and Andromeda think of Remus - your take feels spot on. I really liked the way you showed so many different aspects of Remus' personality in such a short fic. Andromeda's point of view really worked for that too, since she enables us to see him through fresh eyes.

What a way to find out you're pregnant though, that's got to be awkward. Poor Tonks.

(And thanks for thanking me. What did I do?)

[hrymfaxe.livejournal.com]

March, eh? LOL Well, I'm glad you didn't give up on it.

This was certainly an interesting and also credible take on the events immediately after Bill's and Fleur's wedding, the relationship between Remus and Andromeda, and also Remus' feelings regarding having to live with his wife's parents.

You show us a large range of Remus' feelings through Andromeda's observation, which work particularly well, because I get the feeling she hasn't really bothered to look before now, so her realisations are ours as well. And though I can be tempted to say "silly Remus" for being so proud, I probably would have been much the same. Living off of other people's charity and kindness is grating in the long run.

And that is a rather unfortunate way to find out that you are pregnant... And also a bad moment for Remus, who has just been reminded of his awful situation, been tortured and is still undernourished. It is no wonder that he finds the whole thing overwhelming. Or that Andromeda is ready to throttle him...

A complete sidenote: I love that Madam Pomfrey's Patronus is a St. Bernard! LOL

[shimotsuki.livejournal.com]

I know, it must've been a perfect cheery morning read! ;)

Thanks for the kind comments. It is really puzzling why the Death Eaters didn't just wipe out the Order right away, although I guess the whole plot of GoF shows that Voldemort isn't much for simple, economical plans, heh. I'm also happy you thought the Andromeda POV worked for exploring her (and Ted's) relationship with Remus. I'm planning to do a few more DH-era Kaleidoscope fics from her POV, actually.

And you're welcome for thanking me for thanking you! :) I wrote that author's note back right after the relevant discussion happened, so I wouldn't forget to thank people, but now I'm a little fuzzy on the details. I think there were a few different discussions with subsets of the people named, about the relative timing of Bill and Fleur's wedding vs. the pregnancy coming to light, and about what exactly happened after the wedding. I think I'd been confused about whether Ted and Andromeda were at the wedding, and you and mrstater straightened me out on that.

[shimotsuki.livejournal.com]

March, yeah...this is why it takes me so long to make progress on my fic series, heh. And this is the first time I've been brave enough to invent a Patronus for a character, so I'm glad you liked it. ;)

I'm sort of writing the the whole Remus-meltdown sequence in reverse order, so I still need to write another installment exploring more about how things turn difficult after Remus and Tonks get married. But I'm glad it makes sense to you for this story that the combination of all the physical and emotional pressure, plus the sudden shock of a pregnancy they clearly can't afford in terms of either money or time, might lead to the panic and ridiculousness we see in the Grimmauld Place scene in DH.

I'm happy you liked Andromeda's POV, too. I think I'll use her again...

Thanks so much for the comments!

[gilpin25.livejournal.com]

I always like a different take on R/T by seeing them through another character's eyes, and it works so well seeing them through Andromeda's here. I love the way how, as we progress through the story, she gradually warms more and more to Remus, and is more and more impressed, until he undoes all that in one moment by doing about the worst thing a mother could observe - turning away from her daughter when she needs him.

I think your title works very well as this is kind of a 'breaking point' for them all? If you're going to do more from Andromeda's POV - yes, please :) - I'd love to see you tackle when Ted leaves and a few other things! I'd especially like to see how the relationship between Remus and his mother-in-law progresses before Teddy's born; it's fascinating here to see her take his closing in on himself initially as sullenness while we're all thinking it's pride and humiliation before she considers that possibility. I like the idea of how hard she finds it to read him and his motives as a man (but the werewolf word never comes into it), and how a mother would naturally want the reassurance from an undemonstrative man that he loves her daughter. Which echoes what JKR did with Tonks staggering off the broomstick into his arms in DH?

I also thought it was genius having Poppy's Patronus be a St. Bernard, especially as she dished out reviving potions. And I think you have to come up with appropriate lyrics to that Celestina hit. ;)

Thanks for a highly enjoyable late night read and I'm glad you've got through your week!:D

[duck-or-rabbit.livejournal.com]

I really enjoyed this chapter. Because I love the Blacks, I love Andromeda, and you presented her with that sharp, suspicious edge I think she has.

This scene in the book was questionably credible to me and agree with katy, 'why weren't they murdered?' Showing the after effects through Andromeda's POV is nicely handled and brings home that she and Ted were victimized as a result of their attempt to help. She, of course, would have known this was a risk, which makes her brave to have offered.

I noted a few favorite lines for their aptness to set the mood and put us in Andromeda's head:

She didn't recognize the Death Eater behind the white mask, but it was a man—so at least she knew that it wasn't Bella.

He knows what to do, she understood suddenly. He's seen this before.

and

—I will wring your neck with my bare hands.

because we know she would, and she would say it like that, too.

This was a creative and believable take on the circumstances surrounding Harry's escape, and you told us so much through character dialogue, which is hard to do, and I really believed you got all four (seven including the DE and Poppy) absolutely on the nose.

And, of course, I'm agreeing with others that the St Bernanrd patronus was as right as 90 degrees.

Lovely job.

[shimotsuki.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much for the thoughtful comments!

I've really come to like writing Andromeda. I haven't entirely figured out how I'm going to flesh out the Ted situation, but I've had a plotbunny for a long time for Andromeda's pre-Teddy reconciliation with Remus, and (this is sort of cheating but) I think I'll rewrite my old pair of "meet-the-parents" fics for DH compatibility too. I'm imagining it's not the werewolf issue per se that is the major sticking point, but Tonks's parents worrying whether this marriage will let their daughter live a happy and comfortable life. (I think it's likely Remus only saw "disgust" from Ted and Andromeda through the lens of his own shame and self-disgust.)

I'm glad you liked the St. Bernard, and I'll think about trying to channel Celestina. ;)

[shimotsuki.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for reading and thinking about this!

I'm glad this Andromeda feels realistic to you, since you're more up on Black family relationships than I am. I always pictured her as having rather a sharp tongue even before DH -- just look at Bellatrix and Narcissa -- so I was excited to see that borne out when we finally met her in canon. I like it that she looks like Bella, too; it reminds us how complicated all the family relationships and loyalties are.

Thanks for commenting on the dialogue, too; I'm very glad to hear you thought it worked for getting information across. I'm going with the idea that Remus had planned to go looking for Harry all along. He just didn't plan on trying to run off with him or saying idiotic stuff until the shock of the pregnancy hit, heh.

Yay St. Bernard. ;)

[sspring92.livejournal.com]

What a way to find out you're pregnant! I really did enjoy this despite the darkness. Andromeda's take on Remus and his shifting emotions was refreshing. You can tell she really still doesn't like him, but is starting to respect him. I'll have to go check out All that I am.

Oh, and congrats on the General all around winner for Changing minds! Glad to see my vote counted in the election and Metamorfic_moon!

[shimotsuki.livejournal.com]

Yeah, poor Tonks is about to have a really bad three or four days. :( And I think this version of Andromeda is concerned about the quick marriage and worried about her daughter -- she doesn't know Remus very well and isn't sure quite what to make of him.

All That I Am starts out pretty angsty, but it gets a lot brighter if you stick it out, heh.

Oh, and thank you! :)

[(Anonymous)]

I absolutely love this. One of your best ones yet. What a way to find out you're pregnant. Poor Tonks. I love how you had Lupin be really happy at first about having a baby and then back to his worrisome negative self. I wish he could just stay happy.

BTW, I just saw the Twilight movie. It was awesome!

Anyway, I love this. Write more soon.:)

[shimotsuki.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much!

I love how you had Lupin be really happy at first about having a baby and then back to his worrisome negative self.

I'm really happy you caught that. I wanted to be clear that it's not at all the case that Remus doesn't want a child (or he wouldn't have been so happy in the Shell Cottage chapter) -- at this stage in the story he's just too busy doubting that he can be a good father, or give it a good life, and all that.

My next plan is another chapter of "All Will Be In Order," and then something with Remus and Tonks for the holiday event at metamorfic_moon, so I hope to have something new in a few weeks. :)

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah. I always thought that Remus did want a child. But, at the same time he would be terrified. Parenting is a scary thought. And I've been watching a lot of Supernanny episodes lately, so I'm a little apprehensive, now about having kids when I'm an adult. LOL.

Anyway, I could understand Lupin's possible worry about not being a good parent, but I think that he was most worried about the underlined things that were going on. I mean between the possible risk of his kid being a werewolf, the prejudice, and the financial problems, because Lupin is "poor."

BTW, I love how you used Andromeda's P.O.V here. Don't mess with her;)But, like any good mom she's just protective and worried that Lupin may do something irrational to Tonks.

Love this and hope to read more soon!:)

[shimotsuki.livejournal.com]

I think that he was most worried about the underlined things that were going on. I mean between the possible risk of his kid being a werewolf, the prejudice, and the financial problems, because Lupin is "poor."

I totally agree. You're right that babies are scary enough without all those other things to be worrying about!

[tegdoh.livejournal.com]

I loved this. Your Andromeda is just as I imagine her - she has the haughtiness of a Black, but its tempered by her common sense and ability to love. It's so easy to see why she had such a poor opinion of Remus to begin with. And just when she is beginning to see why Dora fell in love with him, he closes off again, bringing out her fierce protectiveness of her daughter. Remus really blew it here, and yet we can't help but feel for him, knowing what's going on in his mind (the stupid git).

This does a great job of filling in one of those gigantic holes in DH, and provides a truly realistic backdrop to Remus' irrational behavior at Grimmauld a few days later.

Also, you Poppy Pomfrey is perfect! Loved the Saint Bernard.

[shimotsuki.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much for your comments! I had a lot of fun writing Andromeda, and I like to think Remus and Poppy Pomfrey would have a special relationship after seven years of monthly visits to the Hogwarts hospital wing.

I'm very happy to hear you thought this was plausible, because I find DH a lot harder than OotP or HBP in terms of making the backstory fit well (gee, I wonder why, heh).

Remus really blew it here

He sure did! But at least that means the trajectory of his relationship with Ted and Andromeda will be interesting to think about...

[mrstater.livejournal.com]

Oh, gracious, I'm so sorry I never got around to reading or reviewing this properly! I'm really so glad you reminded me, because this fic is such a great read. I could basically echo gilpin25's review because she said everything I wanted to say. :)

It's so fresh to read Remus, whom we know so well, through another character's eyes -- we all know he's ashamed and self-loathing, but Andromeda doesn't, and it never occurred to me that people might see his quiet ways sullen. I think that's terribly realistic, and one reason why Remus might have felt a bad vibe from Tonks' parents. I think this is also a really effective way of getting to "know" Remus again in DH, as he seems so altered from other books, through Andromeda who's just meeting him at this point in his life. You did a great job of showing how seeing him in action makes Andromeda see Remus in a new light -- which is how we saw him, in POA and OotP, when he had work to do. Remus is very much a person who's at his best when he's occupied, isn't he? I think it distracts him from everything else, gives back some of that sense of being someone whereas mostly he feels so unmanned.

So many little things in this installment really jumped out at me -- a St. Bernard for Poppy is perfect; I smiled at your homage to the aspidistra; and I adored Tonks' naivete about her own pregnancy -- and of course, Andromeda's glimpse of his initial elation at the prospect of fatherhood.

Really wonderful. Can't wait for what you come up with next!

[shimotsuki.livejournal.com]

Goodness! It was so nice of you to come back and read an old post -- I knew I was posting it when people were likely to be busy, heh.

I really appreciate your thoughtful comments, especially to hear that the Andromeda POV worked as a way to see Remus from a new angle. If he's on emotional lock-down trying desperately to cope with all the negative consequences of the marriage that have just been raining down on him and Tonks (not to mention having to move in with the parents of the wife he can't support), I could totally imagine Andromeda and Ted not finding him very warm and fuzzy.

seeing him in action makes Andromeda see Remus in a new light

I'm so, so happy that you caught that, because that was the central idea behind this story: Remus has been simply overwhelmed with the weight of his shame and self-loathing, but as soon as there is an actual emergency, he snaps right out of it, takes a leadership role, and does exactly what needs to be done -- giving Andromeda (and Ted) a glimpse of what he's really like. Until one more piece of shocking news pushes him just that much too far, heh.

Thanks again for reading and leaving such lovely comments!

[(Anonymous)]

I really like this one. You're brilliant. Hey, I have a quick question for you.

When do you think you will be writing more stories?

Okay, one more question, too. Will you include Teddy's birth in this series? That would be great!

Love

[shimotsuki.livejournal.com]

Aw, thanks so much!

I actually just finished a new story for Kaleidoscope, at metamorfic_moon. It's called Messages (http://community.livejournal.com/metamorfic_moon/167662.html), and it takes place at Christmas in DH.

And I am definitely planning to include Teddy's birth! But I might write some HBP-era stories before I get to that part.

[(Anonymous)]

'Kay, great! I'll make sure to read it!:)

Your story was rec'd!

[snuggle-muggle.livejournal.com]

I just wanted to let you know that I have rec’d your story and posted a link to it in the new HP community hpmssgmoments, or Harry Potter Missing Moments. Your story fits nicely into canon and makes a nice addition to our archives. Please feel free to come over and take a look at what we are doing and your entry (posted under "Dogs of War"). We are a small group at the moment, but we hope to get your story some new readers and some new reviews as we grow.

Re: Your story was rec'd!

[shimotsuki.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the rec! That's a great site you're building.

[(Anonymous)]

Wow, that's marvelous! Everyone's so wonderfully in character and it's great to see all those sides of Lupin. Poor, poor Lupin... ach, but I love him so, even with all his self-doubt and sulking.

[shimotsuki.livejournal.com]

Aw, thanks for the kind words. I find Lupin such a compelling character! And actually, I didn't mean to write him really sulking -- that's Andromeda's interpretation of what she's observing. I was thinking that in reality, Lupin had shut down because he was sort of ashamed and panicking at the same time.

[amaxdear.livejournal.com]

Wow, that was excellent. Andromeda's reaction was perfect, as well as Remus' personality. It's interesting, seeing him through an adult's point of view, especially through Andromeda. She's the perfect character for us to see the real him, because she knows that he has to be good, but there's that slight prejudice and the struggle to get over it.

[shimotsuki.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much for the comment! I'm glad you like Andromeda's perspective on Remus -- I think you're right that she provides a different view of his character. I'm hoping to write a few more stories exploring the change in the relationship between these two.

[paulamcg.livejournal.com]

I must admit it is illuminating to see Remus through someone else’s eyes, and – for a change – someone’s who doesn’t love him. It works wonderfully how Andromeda’s opinion of him changes here more than once. While this looks like (and is, of course!) an episode in a longer story, her evolving view of him makes this a satisfying whole.

You know I can hardly remember enough about DH to appreciate details of the plot points this refers to (and there are some canon elements I’d rather live without – like using Patronus for sending messages, which seems to make things too easy, while turning that fascinating magic from PoA into something less special). But I understand this is an excellent missing scene for those who cherish the whole of JKR’s canon.

And in any case I’m truly happy to see – and both enjoy and admire the way you show – Remus at his best – in action, helping others – as well as at his moments of shame and self-doubt. All your characters are excellent, and it’s lovely to see Poppy express her concern of Remus.

[shimotsuki.livejournal.com]

Thanks very much for taking a chance on this, and for your thoughtful comments.

Remus at his best – in action, helping others – as well as at his moments of shame and self-doubt

Thank you especially for that, which gets right to the heart of what I was trying to do with this. I've always thought that Remus was at his best when he felt that he was needed, and I wanted to show that contrast here, because I think it does help explain some of what we see Remus doing in early DH. I'm still not sure I understand why JKR wrote the characters of either Remus or Tonks quite the way she did in DH, but I'm trying to write my DH missing moments in a way that (to me at least) "explains" what we see in canon in a more satisfying way in the context of long-term character development.

canon elements I’d rather live without – like using Patronus for sending messages, which seems to make things too easy

I do try to keep the details of my world canon-consistent, which means there are Patronus messages, but I agree that this trick should have made things too easy in DH. So, I've actually decided that, soon after this time point (the fall of the Ministry), the Order decided they had better stop using Patronus messages -- because Snape would know how to intercept them and would be able to use them to track Order members down. (This point about the Patronuses shows up in another fic that explores the tension between Remus and Andromeda, one called Messages (http://community.livejournal.com/metamorfic_moon/167662.html); I didn't mention it before because this one is a Tonks-point-of-view story.)

And thanks for your kind words about this version of Andromeda!

[hooves.livejournal.com]

I admit that the most daunting thing about the HP-verse is the damned timeline. I feel like I need to re-read the books and I just read them all less than a month ago. /faceplant

Anyway, this was REALLY good, and I love that you drew a bit of a parallel between Andromeda and Ted, and Remus and Tonks. :D Though I admit that I also wrote about a similar parallel early this afternoon (technically yesterday), so I'm biased in that I really like seeing the parallel actually drawn in a fic!

Anyway, this was just good. I don't have much to say-- glad you didn't overdo the torture or anything, it was just right, and honestly, poor Tonks and Remus.

Also, what a way to find out you're pregnant. Dx I really liked the line about how she lost her job and her flat. Is it ever said in canon HOW she lost her job and flat? Because I can't imagine her having to come home to Remus to tell him. :( I wonder if she was punted out right off or if they gave her a couple weeks to move. :/