Once again, I am grateful for your thoughtful and detailed review!
Yes, DH Ch 11 is "The Bribe," the one where Remus finds Harry and the others at Grimmauld Place and has his extreme breakdown. I also found that scene quite out of character for the Remus I thought I had come to know, but after thinking about it, I decided I could take it to be what happens when Remus is really devastated and pushed farther than even he can handle. So I wrote this little story partly as background for Remus having that type of reaction.
Perhaps some added brief lines of dialogue could convey how he had unexpectedly got a reason to believe he’d lead a life like anyone else, and how all hopes had now come crashing down.
Yes! That's exactly what I think this still needs. I may revise it sometime for posting at PhoenixSong, and if I do, I will add something like this in.
I still dare assume that he didn’t go downhill as low as mine did
Quite possibly not, heh. (I know I haven't made a lot of headway reading your short stories yet, but I definitely will be doing so, and I look forward to it.)
Anyway, I'm very happy to know that you liked this version of Lily, and her friendship with Remus, as well as the idea that Sirius (in this version) was a very loyal and determined friend.
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Yes, DH Ch 11 is "The Bribe," the one where Remus finds Harry and the others at Grimmauld Place and has his extreme breakdown. I also found that scene quite out of character for the Remus I thought I had come to know, but after thinking about it, I decided I could take it to be what happens when Remus is really devastated and pushed farther than even he can handle. So I wrote this little story partly as background for Remus having that type of reaction.
Perhaps some added brief lines of dialogue could convey how he had unexpectedly got a reason to believe he’d lead a life like anyone else, and how all hopes had now come crashing down.
Yes! That's exactly what I think this still needs. I may revise it sometime for posting at PhoenixSong, and if I do, I will add something like this in.
I still dare assume that he didn’t go downhill as low as mine did
Quite possibly not, heh. (I know I haven't made a lot of headway reading your short stories yet, but I definitely will be doing so, and I look forward to it.)
Anyway, I'm very happy to know that you liked this version of Lily, and her friendship with Remus, as well as the idea that Sirius (in this version) was a very loyal and determined friend.