Not that I'm copying jncar's first line, but this scene is such a nice idea - and the title so very apt.
I think you captured a very young teenage boy admirably, particularly in his vocabulary and movements. Gomo sounds a bundle of pent-up energy as he dashed outside and gazed hungrily at the horses, and is filled with excitement and slight hero worship at the thought of seeing the gallant, daring and young Bergon.
How perfect, then, that it's another splendid (and gallant), older figure that takes his breath away. It's a nice moment to see Caz through Gomo's frightened eyes, and the fact that his stern mouth softens into a half-amused/resigned smile is what we expect, of course, but Gomo doesn't. I spent a good two minutes imagining Caz's thoughts at this point, lol.
I like the idea at the end that Bergon is all but forgotten, and Caz may have a teenage fan of his own who has learnt a valuable lesson that day. He deserves a fan club!
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I think you captured a very young teenage boy admirably, particularly in his vocabulary and movements. Gomo sounds a bundle of pent-up energy as he dashed outside and gazed hungrily at the horses, and is filled with excitement and slight hero worship at the thought of seeing the gallant, daring and young Bergon.
How perfect, then, that it's another splendid (and gallant), older figure that takes his breath away. It's a nice moment to see Caz through Gomo's frightened eyes, and the fact that his stern mouth softens into a half-amused/resigned smile is what we expect, of course, but Gomo doesn't. I spent a good two minutes imagining Caz's thoughts at this point, lol.
I like the idea at the end that Bergon is all but forgotten, and Caz may have a teenage fan of his own who has learnt a valuable lesson that day. He deserves a fan club!