ext_92846 ([identity profile] gilpin25.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] shimotsuki 2009-02-02 01:06 pm (UTC)

Am glad to see the Order plan obviously had a slight and very welcome deviation! ;)

I very much enjoyed the echoes of the swimming scene and how shifts are apparently the fashion item of choice for modesty (only not necessarily;)), and Cazaril's understandable embarrassment about revealing the scars to Betriz once more. The way she reassures him - that it's pointless being in the dark, anyway, as she's looking forward to a repeat in the morning - is very her. Being mischievous, clever and exactly what a man on his wedding night must want to hear!

I do like the way he's working out the mathematics of how much time they've spent together and how much they've achieved. LOL. That's very him!

I think you've captured them perfectly and hope you'll do so again. The world definitely needs a little more Chalion from you.:D

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